On the Outside of Introspection

I’m tired of feeling like I have to

Censor my truth

I’m the predator and the prey

Of my self-worth

Trust me, I’m more scared of myself

Than I am of you

 

Don’t let me go

Unless you’d rather use me

Than care about me

In that case, I’d be happy to lose you

If it means finding the better parts of me

 

I need time alone

Forlorn and proud

But I can’t stand being away

From those I love for too long

Some may call me clingy

At least my heart is genuine

I’d rather not be awake from dusk to dawn

Crying

 

I’m a synthesized sunset

With eyes that are windows

To every soul

Shy petals

Blooming and blossoming

From both lips

And between my hips

 

Deceive me once

Shame on me for giving my all to you

Deceive me again and again

For your personal gain

Fuck you

It’s not my responsibility to be you for you

 

I’m a future tattoo

A shard of stained glass

A bloodstained word vessel

Bursting at the seams

 

I’m the personification

Of a broken heart

That is slowly learning

To love itself

My head is so full of dreams

I’m in the process of flinging them

Into my reality

Until the nightmares and dead serotonin

Don’t stand a chance

 

I went from a little white lie

To an empty picture frame on a bedside table

Getting lonely

Anxiously waiting to be filled

With tattered memories

If you’re able to save me,

You’ll awaken my ability

To save you too

 

I’m a clean mess

A backyard ocean

An evanescent goddess

Imperfect, but fearless

On the inside

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