Honey Stain

You’re running away for the thousandth time

Congratulations

Maybe actually improve yourself while you’re at it

 

Stole my heart and locked it in your ribcage

Always came back to you

And you still weren’t satisfied

 

You’ll miss the honey

On your bread

On your fingertips

On your lips

 

Now, her sweetness is saved solely for herself

And eventually, to be shared with someone else

I am the butterfly that came to life

After your bee sting

 

Your mutated neurons continue to fire

But I am sober

Next time you see me, I’ll still have love for you

But at a distance

 

I gaze out windows and let myself be

I stare at the mirror and see better days

Realizing I never needed to be given flowers

Because I can grow my own

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In and Out of Purgatory

We ask each other how we’re feeling

But do we honestly want to know?

Sometimes

And now, the power is out

 

Any new nomadic secrets to tell?

Never, because they’re already known

 

Blood on the floor, the walls, and inside us

Could we have scared ourselves on purpose

And ended up in an accident or two?

What’s the use?

In certain places, reality becomes distorted

Where the ugliest sides of pain are worshipped as beautiful

 

A fight broke out on the balcony

An angel fell from the roof

And we missed the shooting star

Is all of this worth remembering?

We’ve got love hidden behind our backs

A smile on our faces

On to the next one

 

Told you so

I’m listening…

War Stories

Tenderhearted until a violent amendment feels threatened

Why are we always so close, but so far

When it comes to safety laws?

Yes, we’re triggered by the trigger

Because the trigger is a serial killer

Firing nonstop like the spreading of wildfire

 

All this talk about making the future great

While the future gets murdered

In cold blood by the cold-blooded

Are you happy?

Are you proud?

 

The gesture is nice, but it isn’t the cure

There’s enough thoughts and prayers

To last a lifetime cut short

Guns don’t save the world

People do

Hopefully, there will be enough left

No matter what, enough is enough

Of the violence, hate, ego, greed, and fear mongering

 

Where is the limit?

We thought it was young schoolchildren

But apparently, the limit does not exist

 

It may be normalized

But it will never be normal

They’d rather blame the mentally ill

Than help them

They’d rather profit from lives lost

Than prevent them from being lost

 

Where is the love that’s constantly preached about?

Words fall through the cracks

When action falls behind

Keep hope alive

Even if it’s relying on life support

Because somehow, more value is placed on immediate money

Than basic morality

 

How many more?

There shouldn’t be any more

 

No hard feelings (actually, maybe quite a few)

Ignoring a problem

Has never solved it

Shocking, but not surprising

Never less heartbreaking or horrifying

An epidemic of repeated history

 

It seems to hit closer and closer to home

One of my biggest fears is now who will be the next body to fall

Someone I know?

Mine?

And I’m not the only one

How is that fair?

How is that acceptable?

Victories are significant

In the battle of good and evil

Sadness

Using storm clouds as an umbrella

And they change colors like a mood ring

Haven’t been in love yet

Just loved and sometimes lonely

Been the poison and the victim

At war with thoughts that succeeded

At making me feel worthless

Spending a large part of my life

Believing lies

Even those told by my own brain

My bedroom is my ballroom

Where I try to get lost in music

Or words on paper

Instead of the shadows of myself

Falling out of the sky

With only my corpse to catch me

 

I’m told I’m loved

Even when I know I can be too much

I’m told I’m never too much

Even when I feel like I’m never enough

I’m told I’m more than enough

I don’t fully believe it

But I almost do

 

What’s real and what’s fabricated?

The love that exists all around me

That always has and always will

The beauty of my heart, mind, soul, and smile

That shines through, despite the breakage

All of that is irrevocably real

And the fabrication that causes I and millions of others to suffer

Is real and powerful as well

But it can be defeated throughout life’s moments

Because healing is not linear

 

Nowadays, if I can’t find a safe place,

I build one

I’ve never felt more like myself

Because this is me

I think I’ve finally struck a balance

Between loving and helping others

And myself

I cry when I’m hurting and when I’m not

And that’s okay

Because I’m taking care of myself,

Staying out of harm’s way

Clean isn’t easy

You can’t sugarcoat it

But my truth is that I’m grateful to still be alive

And writing this poem made me cry

The Living Dead

The four seasons have gone by

Like a train passing through the countryside

The past is all over the floor

And I’m beginning to fully forgive you

 

We both deserve better

Even if it isn’t each other

I don’t want to overthink this anymore

Break the arrow in half

 

I don’t need a rush to feel alive

I got caught up too much

You’re a risk taker

And a risk giver

Inner peace becomes violent

We’re nothing more than opposites

With similarities

Yet, our connection is larger than life

 

Progress has been made

Never too far away

Only you can change you

Only I can change me

We’re pretty great in our own ways

Painting different pictures

By blending colors

And like raindrops,

We’ll always fall together

Intoxicated, Looking In

Let’s go to outer space

We have nothing better to do

Stranger at first sight

Familiar at first love

Outcasts stay gold

 

Word vomit for the win

Catch a glimpse of my good side

I can tell you’re into it

Broken butterflies for the win

Devour me like romantic poetry

I could easily repay you because I tend to love too much

Take your wine out of the glass and freeze it

You owe me, remember?

 

Painting with rose colors

Rolling around the end credits like sheets

Drink me- I’m the poison and the antidote

 

If nothing makes us happier, we’re blind

If I didn’t pull you to the side, you’d be roadkill

Take this for what it is

You can be such a narcissist

But in the state I’m in, I kind of love it

 

I breathed you in once

And now, I can’t stop

Or I won’t stop

You touched me once

Why stop now?

Loss of Power

Cut the power cord

Pucker up for the limelight

I’m smiling in my mind

Unfair system override

 

I’m all out of heartbeats

But I don’t want a transplant

I’m all out of fucks to give

But there are certain things I care a lot about

I can leave the wounds alone

But I can’t forget that they are there

Sleep the days away

Dream the nights away

 

Everyone’s demands take a backseat

To my worth

I need to be stable

Cremate me in my own tears

 

Complex ruler

I don’t self-medicate

I medicate the self

Hooked on satisfaction

Even when it makes me feverish

My life is an indie movie

And I’m a method actress

 

Fading into falling apart

A sinner until that daylight hits

It’s never over

Power comes from loss

I’m ready to go, but I don’t want to get up

Reaching my high

In my lost mind