Moments of Weakness

Strength in numbers until the numbers are overwhelming

You could be drenched in sweat

And I’d still run into your arms

I seldom follow my own advice

And have to keep re-learning lessons

Sometimes I feel like pulling my hair out

And sometimes I feel like growing it out

Longing for shelter until it buries me

 

Too hot

Too cold

Deep in the goal of escaping anyone and anything narrow

It’s like the only time I truly embrace fear

Is when I embrace happiness

That “letting go” that everyone speaks of

I needed to take a break

To take a break from breaking

 

I don’t feel accomplished

But I do feel somewhat alive

That’s a head start in my tired, ocean eyes

Pull me out of my own head

I’d prefer to drown in anything else right now

Even if it’s you and you can’t stay

 

I’ve got everybody fooled

Until I can’t take it anymore

That’s what inner strength is for

Stretching the truth until you understand the whole truth

 

I recognize my reflection

The smile pushes through the desert

I’m still falling

My feet just want to land, but there’s no solid ground

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Pious Hallway

Time always seems to move

Too fast or too slow

And when it stands still,

That’s when I need to move

It’s okay to be unsure

But the thought of being unsure forever

Terrifies me

 

I want to be seen for what I am

Not what my fear chooses to reveal

 

Am I wrong for believing

That several of my impossible ideas

Are actually possible?

Is the water that I dove into

Too deep or just right

For all of these new heights I’m reaching?

 

What if there is no other side

And we’re just told to make the best

Of what we don’t have

I’m over it

Yet, still stressed

Why am I like this?

 

I can’t be forced to feel what I don’t

 

You can’t fly without falling

But doesn’t falling lead to broken wings?

Then, how will you ever fly again?

We’re all going to die someday anyway

The flight won’t even last

 

I think it’s time to fight the power

That I didn’t choose

Complications

Deep down, I bet you know

How to play heartstrings and heartbeats

Until a great song is born

My own insecurities have me thinking I’m delusional

Until you explain yourself

Which is more than others can say

I’m not the only one

Who is into you

But I am the only one

Who is into every part of you

The good and bad

Into loving every part of you

Not to use you

 

The vibe is right

You can run and hide

I’ll still be right here waiting

For you to come back to life

 

Don’t speak

Unless you are speaking your truth

You need someone who can keep you grounded

When your head ignores gravity

And someone who lets you fly

When you just need to be happy and survive

You’re like a boomerang in my mind

I’m not complaining

And clearly not impatient

My heart is breaking through my chest

 

There are times when time lies

It would be easier to blame myself

Than admit that love hurts when it’s real

It’s all I have and I want to share it

I shouldn’t say give it away

Because that leads to self hate

You’re the same way

And that’s why I give you the benefit of the doubt

Your actions and words keep coming full circle

More Than One Chosen One

It’s in the air

But I have to remember

To breathe

I don’t have to know right now

All truth steps into the light

In due time

 

Somewhere out there

Emerald rain city

I could be

I am

You could be

You are

We could be

We are

 

Deception is not worth suffering for

What if I was deceiving myself all along?

I made it on my own

And with help

Is that so wrong?

Never truly alone

Don’t want to end up alone

I do feel better than I used to though

 

Head so high up in the clouds

That I lost my mind for a while

I can still see my broken heart

From up here!

Healing is in my blood and bones

So, at least I know that I can

Keep myself alive

That’s all I need

To feel alive until I am

 

”Are you doing okay?”

It’s not like I enjoy feeling this way

Day by day

Night by night

Running out of time

When it’s in the palm of my hand

I can always feed the hourglass more sand

This life is mine

Please show me what I’ve been missing

Lavender

What if…

What happens when…

Overwhelming

Daunting

No matter how old I get, I am scared

Of future, of life, of society, of my own thoughts

Crying as I write this

It gets extra dark inside

After midnight

 

I’m holding onto purpose

Trying to make my dreams and ambitions

Feel like one and the same

I know I’m never alone

But at times, those evil voices

Claw at the sunset over my mind’s glittering ocean

 

I make my own rhythm

I write my own neverending story

I make my own way

I breathe my own breath

I cry my own tears

I smile my own smile

I live my own life

I care

I believe

I can and will… love

 

My soul belongs to me

Only I have the right and ability

To turn my tides

In the moonlight

I’ve heard it all before

Skin has ripped like flower petals

Banished to the stomping ground

I haven’t stopped bleeding ink

Personal royalty

 

It’s alright

It’s okay

It’s not over