Are You Not Entertained?

It’s hard enough to tell traumatic truths

Then we get called liars

In other situations, it’s easier to lie

But that takes an expensive toll over time

 

Sometimes, hard work is rewarding

But overall, history hasn’t been kind

Either shamed for being alone

Or not allowed to be

 

We have battle wounds

That are forbidden to heal

Over and over, our scars are reopened

Then we get blamed for feeling “too much”

Stone cold isn’t feminine enough

Although, all of these labels are constructs

Disguised as the gifts that keep on giving

A bloodstained brick road

 

Heavy heart

Searching for the light

In the miracle of life

My soul is not yours to steal and sell

You’ll never know me just by looking at me

Hibernating inside is a power once only dreamed of

 

Streetlights like haunting spotlights

This smile feels like part of a costume

There’s an end in sight

But it keeps getting pulled further out of reach

Fear and courage fertilize each other

You can’t give me one good reason to surrender

 

Paid less than we’re worth

Treated as less than we’re worth

Potential danger in every interaction

Yet, we blossom in spite of it all

Free Lilith

If you let go

Of all that you claim to know

Then you’d have the epiphany

That you know nothing

And there are miracles on the outskirts

Of your white picket fences

 

They put us in boxes

But we come in too many shapes and sizes to fit

They locked us in cages

But we stole the keys

And swallowed them to feed ourselves

Then proceeded to dream the dreams

That no cage can hold

 

You love having the power and prowess

To make us bleed

Yet, hate when we do it naturally

You prefer “natural beauty”

Then throw it away for plastic

You prefer plastic

Then complain about it not being natural enough

These are our bodies

And we are not dolls

 

You’re at your pulpit preaching

That your rib made us

However, didn’t you grow inside us?

Side note: that’s our choice too

 

Fire and ice

Light and dark

Saints and sinners

Masculine, feminine- it makes no difference

 

One arm is a list of targets for revenge

One arm is an olive branch

The angel and devil shoulders

Went out of style

Happy in Heaven and Hell

So, I’d rather listen to my intuition

We will fly, fall, and try again

You’re not perfect either

Brave and Covered in Blood

The sound of silence can be deafening

Standardization was never enough to fix us

Chaotic good is my hero

Wearing white in hopes of being stained red

Blood red, cheered up with wine

Your closest family and friends aren’t that innocent either

Change is the devilish angel there is

Are you in or out?

 

Battle cry of the breakthrough battle

Previously hidden confidence

The sharpest sword is combining it with vulnerability

 

Take a piece of me

But it will always come back to me

Cut me open

And I’ll sew my own stitches

Spill my guts

I swallow truth until I’m broken enough

To break you

Strike you like a viper and you never saw it coming

 

Delicate, sensitive, but not weak

Stab my heart and I only get stronger

Play me for a fool

And I’ll prey on the predator

 

Sleeping Beauty became nightmare fuel

Suffocate me

And I learn to breathe more freely

Kill me

And I’ll haunt you for the rest of your life

And into the afterlife

The wicked deserve no rest

The damsel-in-distress always had dreams

I’ve always been so sweet and put together, right?

But everything is not what it seems

Breathe

Junkyard of smashed alarm clocks

Intelligence is nothing without discipline

Catch my breath and let go

 

I can handle rejection

I’m used to it

That sounds like a joke, but it’s sad

Because it’s true

You can’t tell me not to feel hurt

When I am hurt

Single lovers learn to embrace solitude

 

Fuck it, I’ll get candid

I’ve been single since the day I was born

That sounds like a joke, but it’s the truth

Discovered how to change my thinking from

“I wasn’t enough for them”

To “they weren’t enough for me”

You learn to appreciate your own company

found my bed of roses

And have taken care of myself many times

 

Comparison is truly the thief of joy

Especially when you begin to understand

That everyone has their own path

Loneliness is inevitable

But you’re never truly alone

There will always be someone who understands

Who will listen

Who won’t leave you abandoned

 

Piles of books, filled journals, and miscellaneous papers

Any relationship is nothing without communication

Catch my breath and let go

 

Truth hurts, but I’ll always prefer it

Lying to me is one of the worst things you can do to me

Because my intuition is six steps ahead

The bodyguard for my loving heart

And I don’t take inauthenticity lightly

Do you really want to lose the trust

Of the one who would give you everything?

I’ll see you for who you truly are

I’ll hear everything you think, but don’t say

I’ll prioritize your actions over your cheap words

And I’ll write about it all

With beauty and scary accuracy

 

Don’t tell me that I’ll find someone someday

I’ve heard it too many times to count

You’re not making me feel any better

I know I will

Don’t tell me I need to make myself less

In order to obtain something more

Sounds like you’ve spent your whole life lying to yourself

While I’ve spent mine finding and loving myself

 

Keep intentions clear

Get sad, angry, and let it all out

Breathe again

 

Hell hath no fury like a woman

Who has the power to freeze it over

Ms. Understanding

Don’t just say it

Do it

I’m not trying to rise up

For the hell of it

Somehow, I still check in on you

While I’m checking out

 

We birth new waves

And it’s not anyone’s choice but ours

If or when

I am strong

So, you do everything in your undeserved power

To break me

So that you can justify calling me weak

 

For god’s sake, we’re not saying we’re superior to you

In fact, superiority is the gender construct

We still care about you

We just want to be treated with the same respect and human decency

 

I shouldn’t be afraid to say no

I shouldn’t be afraid to walk alone

Wanting my feelings to matter

And be taken seriously

Are more important topics

Than your need for a punchline

There’s never been a good excuse

And there definitely isn’t anymore

 

I am just like you

And you are just like me

We are all victims and products

Of an unnecessary patriarchy

 

Love is not all about sacrifice

Listen to me when I listen to you

Tradition doesn’t equal truth

History shouldn’t be forever

How is our power a threat

When it’s rarely given a chance?

Lemon Moonbeams

I should turn the tables

I’ll be the one that got away

Unless you change your mind

While you still have time

You wouldn’t be settling

If you just slowed down

My champion muse

Marathon of passionfruit

Nobody feels like you

 

Love that tastes like scarred diamonds

That takes you on the ride of your life

Is meant to last

I’m coming in first place

According to the pieces of my mind

That lucky for you,

You occupy

I’ll light up your room

And your soul

 

Naughty and nice

Rose water to nourish a crown of thorns

And vice versa

Every phase is full

A lady or a siren

Why can’t I be both?

Read and listen to my stories

To write your songs

I am inspiration when let in

 

Do you want forever?

Be mine

This isn’t a proposition

It’s a blessing

Fate is no coincidence

 

A reincarnation

Of Persephone’s heart

You could be the authentic Adam

To my flourishing Eve

And yet, you’re still doubting me?

Choose your words carefully

Because I promise that I’m better with them

I’ll make you eat your heart out

And eventually, you’ll realize

That I fixed every broken piece of it

Because I care

 

For so long, the goddess in me was missing

But it’s not about lost and/or found

It’s who I am

I believe in you too, by the way

Miracles have a way of standing out in the crowd

And nobody feels like me

Sweetheart

I’m not afraid to love

I’m afraid to lose love

But I love to lose what made me lose love

Turning sacrifices into advantages

When it seemed like being able to feel pain

Was the only thing keeping me alive

Tired, open eyes

 

Life in technicolor

Will always triumph over seeing and interpreting

In black and white

When it comes to being innovative

I won’t let you steal my life

I have an idea

Live and worry about your own

 

My heart is kind

My honesty is brutal

Real love only

 

I’m not sorry

For the space I take up

I didn’t put in a request for existence

But here I am

Here we all are

I’m the brightest star in the sky of my mind

That’s evolution

Unapologetic and Vulnerable

You came to play games

I came to break the cycle

I’m done with allowing myself

To be weighed down

By chains and pedestals

You can burn me at the stake

But my salt will haunt your snow

 

Solar eclipses mean nothing to me

Only the moon understands me

I talk to shadows

But I’m still breathing

Sometimes, I know love

If I’ve already won,

What do I have to lose?

 

My time is not for sale

My adoration is a privilege

Not a right

You’re shocked that a young face

Is so alone

I know exactly what I want and need

It’s not you

 

I am fully capable

Of giving myself away

But not to just anyone

If you’re going to leave,

Then stay gone

I’m not always strong

My love bleeds through my scars

Like catching teardrops in my hands

I’m not sorry

Kiss my half-broken heart

Love and War

Holding back leaves me lonely

I refuse to surrender

To false superiority

With love, I have a bloody history

Always coming second

Eventually, ignored as an option

I finally realized

That I’m not a goddamn option

I’m not a naive soldier

I’m a warrior

A strong lover

And I’m ready and willing

To fight for us

To grow with you

If you are too

 

I used to be trapped in an unrequited cycle

Of putting my heart on the front lines

Letting myself get swept off my feet

By angels who had cut off their own wings

I allowed them to bury their scars in my insecure skin

I allowed them to feed from my loyal light

I gave them so much of my time

I let them see the parts of my body, mind, and soul

That I usually hide

They began to only see me

When they needed help with something

When they needed company

I felt appreciated

I felt beautiful

I felt wanted and needed

Until they chose new waltz partners

And I was forced to watch from the sidelines

Any love I built inside myself

Shattering

Given to somebody else

 

Over time, I became comfortable

In my own skin

I became a little petty

But a better writer

Because allies and friends

And reaching deep inside myself

Allowed me to wear armor

In which I feel beautiful,

Appreciated, wanted, and needed

Without a king cobra’s approval

 

Heartbreaks only made me stronger

Loneliness only made me self aware

I can see a lot of me in you

But life can be a minefield

We both still have wounds to heal

However, love should not feel like a competition

Happiness should not feel like a competition

Peace should not feel like a competition

 

You are a ray of light

Your beams deserve a heart that’s constant

I know that you have a large audience

They all want to be your number one

I just want to be your infinity

He Wants to be a Young God

His randomness is calculated

Underneath every smile is a smirk

A sharp silver tongue

Spouting sewage and rainbows

For the satisfaction

Of attention and admiration

 

Somehow his hubris

Allows him to brave the elements

Draining the best out of others

To make up for the worst in himself

He believes he’s a new branch of science

But he really isn’t that complicated

 

He is a champion

Of the blame game

Dropping names

Breaking hearts

Dipping his toes in everything

Giving them up

Like passion means nothing

As deep as the shallow end

Of a baby’s swimming pool

 

He used to show his humanity

Without shame

But like an anchor

Weighing down hidden treasure

He’d rather ride the bandwagon

Through life

Through town

Follow the crowd

And get lost in it

 

He wants to be worshipped

He wants to be the victim

He wants to be feared

He wants to be adored

He wants to be the idol of a religion

He wants to lead a revolution

By casually spinning wicked webs

Of illusions

 

He plays time

Like an out of tune piano

Struts through halls

With a disguise

Of angelic eyes

 

He considers people above him

As beneath him

When his equals fly higher

Than his airhead personality

Suddenly, they’re nothing

Unless they follow him

 

When a girl becomes a woman

Her own woman

He calls her fat

Shames her choices

Diminishes her intelligence

All behind her back

Files her away

As a nuisance

Unless he realizes he needs her

Misses her

And expects her to come crawling back

Only when she’s fanning his ego

Is she not a threat

 

Little does he know

That his charm is as permanent

As a temporary tattoo

His ultimate weakness was his failure

To recognize her strength

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

His possessiveness and inner ugliness

Are transparent

When one steps back

And examines his fool’s gold

It’s actually hilarious

He wants to be a young god

He thinks he is a young god

Faux modesty can only get him so far

He needs a lesson

In creative imagination

And a large dose of reality

He is not immortal

He has become one of those “basic bitches”

That one of his hobbies is to complain and joke about