City of Sinful Innocence

Angel wings painted on walls

They wouldn’t exist otherwise

I’m bored of always wanting more

But not much else happens around here

Chasing paper to afford the opportunity

To take aesthetic photos in front of waterfalls

Three cheers for youth, ownership, and off-key symphonies

 

Tired of the small talk traced back to small minds

Rumors preferred over truth

Since you don’t have to hide what’s out in the open

We got everything we wanted and it wasn’t even worth it!

Look at how happy we are!

 

Walk of fame or walk of shame?

It doesn’t matter what you choose

Everything comes with a price anyway

If parties are fun, why is it so easy

To feel like you’re having fun wrong?

That’s no fun

Buzzkill or be killed

 

Grinding until we’re in the ground

Sometimes, sooner than later

What is it all for?

What does it all mean?

Deeply fearful of misplacing the last bit of innocence in me

How Low Can You Go?

Our life is a circus

And we are the pretenders

Fooling the world

One smile at a time

Welcome to our home

That doesn’t always feel like a home

When it’s just us

Without guests

 

Simple conversations

Turn into screaming matches

No curtains closing

On petty drama

Is this love or survival?

It varies

How sad is that?

And it seems to get worse

Instead of better

Over time

 

Growing up with growing pains

Half happy and half overwhelmed

Projection instead of positive change

Words floating around the atmosphere

Actions circling the drain

New additions to existing problems

Just a phone call away

Excuses instead of honest, genuine apologies

 

Am I worth it

Or damaged goods?

The last thing I’d ever want to do

Is repeat your mistakes

Your bloodstained history

 

What is the meaning behind “I love you”

When you’re not completely here

When I need you?

Sapphire

What you may think of me

Has no control over or hold on me… anymore

Your approval is not my life support

Keep underestimating me

Proving you wrong is child’s play

Your own insecurity is showing

 

You talk and talk

But you have nothing of substance to say

Words have power

But yours are dead stars

Your comfort is irrelevant

If you refuse to listen

And acknowledge your actions

I am an enigma

I dare you to try to figure me out

From what I show and tell you

And what I don’t

 

For the first time, I’m confident

Suddenly, you’re offended

You only care when I’m winning

When I was losing,

You stepped on or ignored me

I beat you to my treasure chest

I beat you at your own plague

I beat you at your own damn game

Maybe You’re Right

What’s so special about me

At nine years old

So young and already so desperate

To not be alone

Trusting the wrong people

Sacrificing my dignity

I thought that crushing on you

Made me brave

But you flipped over the tables

And for the rest of the year,

I was afraid

 

Maybe you’re right

I’m as ugly as your heart

It doesn’t matter what I do

You won’t change your mind or ways

Maybe you’re right

I’m too unworthy

To even look you in the eye

The sky is blue

But my mind is numb

The only way to make you smile

Is to let you make me feel ashamed

 

Why did I believe

That my ultimate dream

Was to be loved by a pathetic boy

Who thought he was a man

Gossipping schoolgirl laughter

Led to a broken future

I couldn’t move

Couldn’t speak

I allowed your frigid words

To melt my self-esteem

 

Tears burn

But they are the sign of a lesson learned

I grew up

I know I’m beautiful

Who knows how you turned out?

I really don’t care

Because I’ve come far

And there was nothing special or rare

About you

 

You were wrong

Vixen

I’m bored

With who I am right now

I want to soar

And make a brand new sound

I don’t need any more pressure

I want to decide

My way of life

 

I want to be a fox

Make people talk

Give them something to want

I want to have fun

And come out

When the sun goes down

Be a whole new person

Shed my sweet skin

Get a new image

And become a vixen

 

I want to be offensive

Not the one who’s offended

I want to be feisty

Bitchy

And have no problem

Letting the claws come out

Innocence can be deceiving

It can also be boring

 

I’m going to change myself

For the better

Wear nothing but lace and leather

Flock with danger

Like two birds of a feather

Time to get myself together

 

Make love like there’s no tomorrow

Never again be filled with sorrow

Drink until I drop

Easily able to come out on top

Always thinking outside the box

Loving the risk of getting caught

My mission is this and this only

To live life to the fullest

And not be sorry