Where is Home?

Wherever I’m happy and at peace

Because those states of mind

Are rare for me

Love that takes me to nirvana

Whether it comes from me or someone else

The bed in the space

Between a rock and a hard place

Where dream worlds and reality collide

To center the universe

24/7 365

Time doesn’t matter

There’s no rush to get to know myself

Nobody and nothing can take it away

The warm, beating heart in the space

Between a glacier and a cold place

Bitter Whiskey Sour

Nothing about me is surface level

As good as I try to be and inherently am,

I’ll never be a perfect person

Back-to-back intense nightmares

Caused by intense insecurities

Leave me out of breath when I wake up

 

Sometimes, all I see is envy

I feel trapped by circumstances

Out of my control

Then, I let myself feel inferior to

Everyone living their lives

The ways that I want to live mine

It’s like bad people keep getting rewarded

And good people keep getting left in the dust

 

I don’t necessarily hold grudges

I recognize that forgiveness doesn’t equal forgetting

I don’t let bitterness run my life

So, I have the right to let myself feel it in the moment

To grieve

To turn writer’s block into an exposé

Made up of pretty sounding words

 

I can’t seem to concentrate

Unless I’m happy

All lemon juice, no sugar

What were you saying about lemonade?

What if that shit expired?

I feel safe in my headspace

And sometimes, I just don’t

I simply wish to enjoy my life

Without feeling like I’m wasting it

 

Copyright Unknown

I don’t always know what to say

I don’t always know what to do

That doesn’t mean I’m not trying

I get lost and scared

I feel sad, hopeless, and anxious

That doesn’t mean I’m not trying

Don’t trust inaccurate perception

 

You all claimed to know me so well

The truth is, you never knew me at all

My personality, interests, and dreams

Are too mutable to fit a mold

I only chase the sun when it shines

And when it rains, it pours and I cry

 

I haven’t believed in myself enough

I let fear drive me crazy

Now, I’m noticing a change

Nothing is flawless

But I finally know what happiness is

Don’t act like you know best

When you barely understand

What I’ve been through

What I’m still going through

When you don’t even try

 

Forever asking myself

Does this feel like me?

Empty

The desert sun shines

When I am trying to sleep

It is nighttime inside me

Whenever someone leaves,

They leave the pain

Left behind

Left behind

Moving forward

You don’t know how to change

But I do

 

I want to smile

Because I want to

Not whenever it’s expected

You can’t control my emotions

I need to cry

When I need to

Don’t belittle me for it

 

I fell behind

I fell behind

Living and feeling

In the middle of nowhere

Catching up is just growing up

It can’t be rushed