Autopsy

I returned from a war that never ends

Fighting a losing battle that I sometimes win

I want to be known, but invisible

Don’t say my name, but also do

My heart screams to the heavens

From the underworld

Raised to appreciate the spotlight and attention

But I need time to withdraw to survive

 

Confidence is my question that has no answer

“Just do this, just do that”

”Just be this, just be that”

”Just say this, just say that”

Listen, you can’t just throw me into open season

I am bold on my own terms

 

Shy to sassy like flicking a light switch

Writing mental prescriptions for adrenaline and sedatives

Naked in the sky with diamonds

Then, running to hide behind the next lunar eclipse

I’m not ready until I say so

But as soon as I am, you’ve got a big storm coming

 

An affinity for morbid humor and a habit of biting my tongue

A vice of a desire to hurt and a longing to heal

I’d rather cry every day than feel numb

I’m not afraid to be open anymore

Not completely unafraid though

But I’ll make it work

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Treasure Sale

Why does keeping to myself

Make me a target

I wasn’t put on this earth

For your entertainment

I’m busy trying to be happy again

After a night of being drenched

In cold, blue blood

 

I don’t walk alone

To get close to you

I bury my true emotions

To make it through day-to-day life

I’m not what you need

If you only want me temporarily

 

I could write a library of books

On how to hide in your mind

Until you’re more lost

Than found

Instead, I choose to write about

Great escapes

Dream lovers

My moments of strength and weakness

 

Some actions simply can’t be forgiven

No matter what price tag is put on them

I prefer to push away good memories

If they led to poisonous experiences

Those who made an impact on me

Whether positive or negative

I can get over

But I can’t forget

A lot of my words don’t make sense to everyone

But they make sense to me

My soul’s gems