Moments of Weakness

Strength in numbers until the numbers are overwhelming

You could be drenched in sweat

And I’d still run into your arms

I seldom follow my own advice

And have to keep re-learning lessons

Sometimes I feel like pulling my hair out

And sometimes I feel like growing it out

Longing for shelter until it buries me

 

Too hot

Too cold

Deep in the goal of escaping anyone and anything narrow

It’s like the only time I truly embrace fear

Is when I embrace happiness

That “letting go” that everyone speaks of

I needed to take a break

To take a break from breaking

 

I don’t feel accomplished

But I do feel somewhat alive

That’s a head start in my tired, ocean eyes

Pull me out of my own head

I’d prefer to drown in anything else right now

Even if it’s you and you can’t stay

 

I’ve got everybody fooled

Until I can’t take it anymore

That’s what inner strength is for

Stretching the truth until you understand the whole truth

 

I recognize my reflection

The smile pushes through the desert

I’m still falling

My feet just want to land, but there’s no solid ground

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Breathe

Junkyard of smashed alarm clocks

Intelligence is nothing without discipline

Catch my breath and let go

 

I can handle rejection

I’m used to it

That sounds like a joke, but it’s sad

Because it’s true

You can’t tell me not to feel hurt

When I am hurt

Single lovers learn to embrace solitude

 

Fuck it, I’ll get candid

I’ve been single since the day I was born

That sounds like a joke, but it’s the truth

Discovered how to change my thinking from

“I wasn’t enough for them”

To “they weren’t enough for me”

You learn to appreciate your own company

found my bed of roses

And have taken care of myself many times

 

Comparison is truly the thief of joy

Especially when you begin to understand

That everyone has their own path

Loneliness is inevitable

But you’re never truly alone

There will always be someone who understands

Who will listen

Who won’t leave you abandoned

 

Piles of books, filled journals, and miscellaneous papers

Any relationship is nothing without communication

Catch my breath and let go

 

Truth hurts, but I’ll always prefer it

Lying to me is one of the worst things you can do to me

Because my intuition is six steps ahead

The bodyguard for my loving heart

And I don’t take inauthenticity lightly

Do you really want to lose the trust

Of the one who would give you everything?

I’ll see you for who you truly are

I’ll hear everything you think, but don’t say

I’ll prioritize your actions over your cheap words

And I’ll write about it all

With beauty and scary accuracy

 

Don’t tell me that I’ll find someone someday

I’ve heard it too many times to count

You’re not making me feel any better

I know I will

Don’t tell me I need to make myself less

In order to obtain something more

Sounds like you’ve spent your whole life lying to yourself

While I’ve spent mine finding and loving myself

 

Keep intentions clear

Get sad, angry, and let it all out

Breathe again

 

Hell hath no fury like a woman

Who has the power to freeze it over

Take the “F” Out of “Life”

You need a job?

Well, experience is required for experience

You need free time?

Too bad because “time is money”

Control is out of control

I’m tired of repetitive hypocrisy

I’m tired of being tired

Expectations are boring

Common sense is a rarity

Respect is expensive

 

I’m no angel, but I’m definitely not evil

I know that much for sure

I’m not crazy about my complicated existence

But I would go crazy if it were always simple

 

If you need me, you don’t act like it

But honestly, I’m better off healthy

Keeping my distance from those who love with pernicious undertones

Better late than never

I procrastinate until I have no choice

But to overwork myself or fail

Both effects are inevitable

I’m okay now

But everyone wants to get higher

The ultimate fantasy is made up of millions

Of smaller fantasies, larger numbers, and multiple steps

 

Drowning out the negative voices

Inside and outside of my head

And amplifying the uplifting ones

A daily struggle

Heart’s homeostasis

Going through metamorphosis

What’s real that isn’t ruled by fear?

Who really wants to live a li[f]e?

Not For Sale

Pandering is easy money

To attempt to become

Everything you’re not

Everything you’ll never be

The thing is that people don’t know

What they like

Until they give it a try

Brands are some trying times

 

I won’t fall apart

I won’t need to worry about winning or losing

If I don’t bother playing their game

Lessons learned

 

Oh wow

So many connotations for selling out

What feels right?

Language is perceptive

Actions are persuasive

Going, going, gone

Still around?

 

Sets being set up

Trending for no good reason

Or maybe there is?

Who knows?

Who knew?

Lies are accustomed to shielding the truth

The cutest couple

Not all of them are as happy as they look

 

The only thing missing is

Authenticity

I’ll admit to being a follower

Oh, you thought that I would stay there?

You were wrong about me

Eyes On Fire

I considered you the sun

Which makes more sense

Since you burned my heart

To a crisp

After I kept you warm,

You left me cold

I need to keep looking up

But I won’t be blind again

Time to untie my tongue

My smile is happier now

 

 

What’s truly tragic is that

I let so many people play a part

In my tragedy

You started it, but I’m ending it

At last, I see the light

 

 

Beauty can fade over time

Your lies aren’t pretty anymore

Pain is not nameless

You know who you are

But I know you’ll never admit it

You’ve got a reputation to uphold, right?

That’s too bad

Should have been more concerned

With your character

I have fire and water in my soul

Stronger than your desperation

More resilient

Than your “friendships”

And “relationships”

Feel

I guess I need to be fed lies

To stumble upon the truth

I guess I need to let the sadness

That makes me want to die

Become a part of who I am

For “happiness” and “alive”

To take on powerful meanings

Too undefined to set foot in a dictionary definition

It was no surprise

 

I love the light

I love the dark

I love-hate myself

Spin the bottle

It is empty

Because it is full of my loneliness and misery

 

I know what I want and need

I think I know who I want and need

At the same time,

Do I truly know anything?

I would defy logic, space, and time

For the satisfaction of a feeling

I give so much love

That I take any I can get in return

Acceptance is blindly beautiful sometimes

 

Sensitive until numb

Strength and weakness are interchangeable

Reality and illusions

Have correlation to me

If part of my billions of daydreams

Maybe I’m rich!

Maybe I made it!

I feel it

Somewhere

Tragic Lullaby

So often

Too often

Lies are singing us to sleep

While truth is labeled as out of tune

All we have in this life are

The sky and each other

The youth are worth more

Than punching bags for expired bitterness

Where does the line blur

For industry, institution, and prison?

Ignorance is bliss when you’re privileged

Would you turn a blind eye

If you or your loved one

Was deported or shot dead?

Are you having fun

While white roses are being painted red

With the blood of children?

Hatred is a fickle thing

We claim to live in the moment

While we live through screens

But there is always light to be found

In the darkness

We don’t have to be hopeless