Infinity and Beyond On High

I never want to change who I am

Everyone else does it for me

Depending on the point-of-view, I’m strong or broken

Joke’s on you because I’m both

And everything in between

 

I’m emotionally overbearing

With an unlimited supply of empathy

I’m guilty of victimizing myself out of fear

Along with falling for other people’s games out of love

I live in an almost constant state of insecurity

I said almost

 

I worry about being unloveable

At the same time, I know for a fact

That I’m so deserving

 

It can take me years to speak up

But when I do, I say it all

Opening the floodgates

I don’t understand the difference

Between love and infatuation

Between true and fake friends

Between genuine family members and selfish manipulators

Until I’ve gotten hurt or taken advantage of

Learned the same lesson again and again

 

I’m amazing in many ways

Beautiful inside and out

I’m a gift to know

And capable of impactful things

I bring light to the darkness

No matter how I’m feeling

I’m a heart-to-heart listener

A potential bestseller

Sweet and smart

Still alive

 

Demons throughout the course of my life,

Online, and in my mind

Told me I’m never good enough

For a multitude of reasons

I beg your fucking pardon

I am a delight

Me, Myself, and I vs. Me, Myself, and I

My greatest friend

My worst enemy

Beauty in the dark

My biggest fear

Playing with fire

Thirsty for something new

To be honest, I’m lying

And I’m the only one who knows the truth about me

 

Before you go, stay close

Opening up makes me anxious

Yet, I love doing it

I need to do it

It’s a mess in here

A river of love and radioactive waste

 

I fade into the background

I sit down and stand out

These challenges bring me no joy

I have to embrace pity and get help

I have to do both of these things at the same time

I need an angel by my bedside

So I’m not alone at night

 

I don’t usually advocate violence

Stop torturing me

Save me from myself

Price Match

Jealousy is a homewrecker and proud

It’s also a natural human emotion

When everyone’s dreams keep living

While yours keep dying

Planting new seeds

Hoping some potential can be spared

 

Everything is on sale

Except the sale itself

Can’t be happy in the sky

Or on the ground

If you’re not happy at all

I’m not talking about me

Or am I?

 

Flowers speak a love language

The moon suddenly smiled brighter than the sun

Almost like a flicker of hope

Glass slippers never alone together

Many worlds in one room

 

It was never my intention

To let my life pass me by

Sometimes, it just happens

Lost inside myself

Safe inside myself

Torrential rain won’t stop me

Don’t look at me like that

 

More than a percentage

More than a label

More than a dream

More than you and your vultures

 

Sad pages come before revelations

It is what it is

Existence is a dichotomy

It’s finally starting to make sense

Breathe

Junkyard of smashed alarm clocks

Intelligence is nothing without discipline

Catch my breath and let go

 

I can handle rejection

I’m used to it

That sounds like a joke, but it’s sad

Because it’s true

You can’t tell me not to feel hurt

When I am hurt

Single lovers learn to embrace solitude

 

Fuck it, I’ll get candid

I’ve been single since the day I was born

That sounds like a joke, but it’s the truth

Discovered how to change my thinking from

“I wasn’t enough for them”

To “they weren’t enough for me”

You learn to appreciate your own company

found my bed of roses

And have taken care of myself many times

 

Comparison is truly the thief of joy

Especially when you begin to understand

That everyone has their own path

Loneliness is inevitable

But you’re never truly alone

There will always be someone who understands

Who will listen

Who won’t leave you abandoned

 

Piles of books, filled journals, and miscellaneous papers

Any relationship is nothing without communication

Catch my breath and let go

 

Truth hurts, but I’ll always prefer it

Lying to me is one of the worst things you can do to me

Because my intuition is six steps ahead

The bodyguard for my loving heart

And I don’t take inauthenticity lightly

Do you really want to lose the trust

Of the one who would give you everything?

I’ll see you for who you truly are

I’ll hear everything you think, but don’t say

I’ll prioritize your actions over your cheap words

And I’ll write about it all

With beauty and scary accuracy

 

Don’t tell me that I’ll find someone someday

I’ve heard it too many times to count

You’re not making me feel any better

I know I will

Don’t tell me I need to make myself less

In order to obtain something more

Sounds like you’ve spent your whole life lying to yourself

While I’ve spent mine finding and loving myself

 

Keep intentions clear

Get sad, angry, and let it all out

Breathe again

 

Hell hath no fury like a woman

Who has the power to freeze it over

Enhanced Dimensions

Could be a paradox

How sleeping can either kill you

Or help you live longer

The seasons changed

But my mind did not

On the contrary, my energy shifted

Quite a lot

You’re only a good listener

If you truly listen

When someone tells you the truth

About you

Meanwhile, dreaming about thoughts

And thinking about dreams

 

I never said that I was always right or wrong

Just trying to put myself out there

Bare my soul

Without losing sight of myself

And what matters most

 

If there’s someone out there

Watching over me

From another space or time,

Please give me a hint

About who you are

That I didn’t truly see

Who’s been in front of me all along

Because I’ve swallowed so many hard pills

That I’m dehydrated

Maybe just one more…

 

Patience saved me

I know that I’m happy

In another world

But I want to be happy here too

Because this is my home

I deserve that at least

Destination

Not everything is meant to stay the same

My trust is more limited now

And that’s a beautiful thing

Never been a morning person

That doesn’t mean I want to dread waking up

I’d rather throw my problems out the window

 

I know the truth that they refuse to accept

I’ve been writing the words that they’re thinking

But are scared to say

A lane of my own

The murder mystery that helped me figure myself out

Acting like my life’s rightful owner

Too easy

I’m in and you’re out

 

Letting go of who and what poisoned me

Stepping over who and what stifled my creativity

If I’m not growing,

If I’m not happy,

Sorry not sorry, I’ll pass

 

The light doesn’t seem so far away anymore

I can’t let my dreams be stagnant

My love is not real estate

They lied enough to make beds

Now, they can break them like those promises

I’m better off

They may try to come back

But little do they know,

I’m long gone

Teal

I’m afraid to be happy

But that’s still what I want

When I fall, I fall hard

Yet, I can still get back up

Pale as a ghost and still alive

Even if I don’t always feel it

 

If you want the truth,

Then listen when I tell you

What you see is what you get

Like it, love it, or leave it

I shouldn’t have to suffer

For someone else’s benefit

 

Hold onto me

Don’t let go

I’ll give you infinite reasons

To believe that you’re worth it

 

Dopamine and sunshine

Motivate the mind

You woke up and said you loved me

In my dream last night

Try not to skip a heartbeat

We can’t afford more pieces of our story

Going missing

I needed you

And I still do

 

I’m not much of a risk taker

But I refuse to be background noise

I can stretch flowers

Until they land in a garden

All over the yellow wallpaper

A heart has no limits

Turn up the volume