Fin.

Skip forward in time

To a bright future

A better life

Walk away from doubt

Four empty walls

Since the occupants

Went to go frolic

In the sunflowers

Turn the car around

A culture of hope is right behind you

All you need is love,

Reciprocation,

And success

Read my lips

A Summary

All I want is for my best to be enough

Existence is exhausting

Aware of everything

I’m satisfied and happy

With who I’ve become as a person

And I’m still growing

Old beginnings with new endings

Been getting the hang of

What I used to only struggle with

Slowly falling harder

For love each day

I don’t want to live a life

Of regrets and what ifs

Having the confidence to make the first move

And really pursue someone

Or something

I care about is

Empowering

What?

Once again,

I reprogrammed my brain wrong

I can receive all of the advice, encouragement, and criticism

In the world

But in the end, it’s up to me

Looking back and comparing then to now

Really breaks and soothes my heart

I know what’s best for me

Exactly how much do I believe it though?

Self-sabotage party for one

Like my soul is decomposing

Playing with fire

Because I believe in magic

Optimistic optical illusions

I don’t know what I miss more

I kind of wish

That expectations didn’t exist

They’re so divisive

High and low through highs and lows

Rarely correlate

Heavy is the head that wears the crown

Thanks for picking me up

And being patient with me through all of this

Buttercups

His hair continues to fall in his face

Even when cut

I don’t want to be built up

Only to be let down

Clumsy and we can’t help it

 

He speaks a million words a minute

And I would travel a thousand miles

To listen to and absorb

Every single one

I want to learn everything

That he could possibly teach

 

Strength in fragility

I thought we were completely different

But we’re practically one and the same

Schools of fish in the deep baby blue

Students of life

And all of its wonders

 

He is older than me

Yet seems so much younger

So wild, free, and put together

Sugar sweet poison

Yellow, the “happy” color

Yellow is my favorite color

 

Flowers line the city streets

Like petals on the ground

Of a wedding aisle

His smile is seriously beautiful

I long to be his special girl someday

And I’m screwed because of it

 

 

Cheer Down

Hard work doesn’t just build character

It can also tear it down

Talk the talk in public

Cry when alone

 

Every mistake treated like a failure

A wreck

Milestones delayed

 

Ringing alarm clock is a sucker punch

Pre-stressed about future stress

Simultaneously not trying enough

And trying too hard

 

My past and present selves

Constantly battle it out

To stand on the highest step

Cheering up is like finding an anchor

That can float

Marathon

Brains can drop into a split

Health kick

Where do we go when we go?

Fatalities

Quitting

Just keep running

Fans screaming cold air

Don’t know

Silence means everything

What am I becoming?

 

It never stops

Keep going

It never stops

Keep going

 

Breaking the habit

With a quick fix

Catlike facial expressions

 

Give me feeling

Tell me how you feel

I don’t want a lie

Lonely memories

Crowded boredom

It never stops

Keep going

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tripped Out

Blue lace bra

Costume shop

Beach hunt

Sex on a couch

Office floor

Or in a guest room

 

Strangers in the backyard

Danger in the neighborhood

Always getting closer

But I can never seem to run fast enough

 

Falling off a balcony

Jumping down an elevator shaft

Snakes and clouds of mist

Too soon and too late

 

In his arms

Underneath her

Necromancy beside the stairs

High speed

Slow motion

Reality in a fiction flying out of a blender

Out the door

Repetition

Reoccurring

 

Attacked and threatened

Protect the toys

Driver’s license as currency

Familiar faces and places

Turned inside out

 

Demons

Ghosts

Haunting to forget

Love

Is it love?

Seeing through me

Trying to make sense

Of what could also be nonsense

Dream interpretation can be a bitch

 

Monochrome

Color

Paint

Draw

Color

By number

All the same

In a simple way

 

Productivity

A mountain to climb

A hill to die on

An illusion to survive on

 

Feelings shiver and shake

Like earthquakes

Changing the groundwork

Laid by heathens and heroes

 

Seeing red

Seeing green

Seeing blind

Seeing the light

One day

Sometimes

At last

One Lifetime at a Time

Learning to take life one day at a time

Makes me want to stay alive

Trying to feel light

And find the light

When this year has been dark and heavy

From the very beginning

Wrong to miss the past

When change is so necessary

 

I don’t know how I survive

I just do

I don’t think that time has ever felt real

 

Interludes arrive

And you have no clue how to spend this free time

And before you know it, it’s over

 

As an empath in these times,

It feels like my heart is on fire

Messing with my head

And it’s everybody’s fault

Including my own

I will be vague and specific simultaneously

Finding your peace, while finding your voice

Is exhausting

And an extraordinary thing

 

Learning to take life one day at a time

Makes me want to stay alive

 

Tangent

There’s nothing I want to forget

Even the negativity

And things I may regret

Because I don’t know

If I’d be happy without them

If I’d be exactly who I am today

Without them

 

I don’t seem to mind being alone

Even when I feel lonely

Someone is always watching

I like being free

 

On the rare occasions

That I write massive paragraphs and posts

About what I’ve been through

Or am going through

I still leave out information

 

I need to go after what I want

Particularly when it comes to love

Fight for it and not so readily sulk in pain and defeat

Love and personal growth are worth the fight

 

It’s okay to be optimistic

Because it can be confidence’s sidekick

But still,

I try to be as realistic as possible

 

I’m the cherry on top

Of an emotional avalanche sundae

”I’m melting! I’m melting!”

Did you hear that?

Of course you didn’t

I don’t feel like yelling

My heart is a halo

Regardless of whether it’s broken or unbroken

 

Broad spectrum of ways to express myself

To document my life

Feeling more confident

Fitting in while standing out

Abundance of outlets

Life could become slightly easier

Still stressed, even when happy

I think I already reached my peak

But I also don’t think I have yet

Maybe I have multiple peaks

Since there’s so many mountains to climb

Heights of every height to reach