What the Inside of a Broken Heart Looks Like

Do I still remember

Who the real me is?

Has there ever been a time

When I didn’t feel like

There’s something missing?

Body, mind, soul, and heart all connected

By a broken thread

 

All I know is that I don’t know

I either feel too much or nothing at all

And suddenly, I can’t breathe

 

Cold coffee from being left out and forgotten about

Leftover tear stains on the pillowcase

Visits to every type of doctor’s office more nerve wracking than before

I just want to be okay

Is that too much to ask?

 

Unable to admit when I need someone

Until I’m alone

I want to know what love is

So I can show myself that it exists

 

They Say If You Dream a Thing More Than Once, It’s Sure to Come True

Fabricated nonfiction- yikes

Fiction based on reality- yikes, but meaningful

Pay attention

Everybody’s got a story to tell

 

My vision may not be 20/20

But I’m not blind to what goes on around me

If you could feel

Everything that I feel

On any given day or night,

Would you want to live or die?

 

Running in imperfect circles

Words in the form of jagged lines

Sometimes, I start writing something

Just to see what happens

Provoking a concept

Provoking myself

Provoking my will to live

Several pages later

Better late than never

 

The more exhausted I get with life,

The less frequently I wear a bra

And what about it?

My golden body, my golden rules

 

Making a mental getaway

Do not disturb

You’ll remember my name

Why wait until my funeral to read this?

On a “I don’t care what you think of me” wave

Depending on the context of the situation of course

Living in an age

Where clowns lead parades

 

But enough about me

How are you?

Are you making the time and space

To be both selfless and selfish too?

 

We Are Something Beautiful

You can do what you want

But you’ll never realize what you want

If you don’t get to the core of what you need

You can break free from the chains

Placed on you by others

But you’re not truly free

Until you unleash

Until you free yourself completely

 

Darting into alleys

Basking under hot lights

Until you find me

When you weren’t looking

Like I found you

 

One of these days,

We will cease to make

The sane mistakes

At the end of the day,

We could say

”I love everything about you”

 

Your naturally sculpted face

Dances behind my eyes

Like the night light of my dreams

Your hidden waterfalls make me want to cry

Happy, yet heartbreaking beauty

Acknowledged, yet ignored by many

 

Massacred daily by seas of flashing, twinkling, and shooting stars

Still, here we are

Standing tall

Only continuing to grow

Scratching the surface of potential

With chipped polished nails

 

Find a love that you would die for

And live for it

 

Autobiographical

Drawing a blank right now

Can’t constantly be creative on call

I plan to improvise

Be spontaneous to strategize

 

I am and am not broken

Can’t think of anything I’m infamous for

Yet, I still feel guilty

Even though I give selflessly

Must be the water sign in me

With a splash of anxiety

 

Not sure if tiredness being part of my personality

Was a natural occurrence

Or man made

Guess it was both

 

With how much I survive

From thinking and dreaming,

I was ready to start writing

Before I started speaking

 

I am love and passion intertwined

Cotton Candy

Could love blue raspberry

Could love pink vanilla

Could bring everything together

In a swirl of lavender

 

Dancing on thin ice

Crying and overthinking at night

Eyes adoring every which way

And it feels more than okay

 

Choosing favorite colors of the rainbow

And sliding

Discovery quest

Personal heartbeats handwritten

Signed, sealed, delivered

Secret door held open

 

Still the same person

But a little more free

Counting the stars on skin

The truth lies within

 

Maybe not sure

Maybe definitely

One journey

Sweet victory

Where is Home?

Wherever I’m happy and at peace

Because those states of mind

Are rare for me

Love that takes me to nirvana

Whether it comes from me or someone else

The bed in the space

Between a rock and a hard place

Where dream worlds and reality collide

To center the universe

24/7 365

Time doesn’t matter

There’s no rush to get to know myself

Nobody and nothing can take it away

The warm, beating heart in the space

Between a glacier and a cold place

Before Midnight

I lost and found myself

The lost part in San Francisco

Shakily crossing the Golden Gate Bridge

The found part staring back at me

Reflecting on my reflection

And reflections of past lives

Ready, aim, action

What are you doing?

Get louder than words

 

Dream land sails from coast to coast

Trying to understand me

Waiting for a lover who truly understands me

Who can stay by my side

Be my parallel line

 

My version of mindfulness

Is going back to the time

When I didn’t exist yet

If you could start all over,

Would you have let yourself fall?

Apart

In love

Together

 

I just want to get better