Fin.

Skip forward in time

To a bright future

A better life

Walk away from doubt

Four empty walls

Since the occupants

Went to go frolic

In the sunflowers

Turn the car around

A culture of hope is right behind you

All you need is love,

Reciprocation,

And success

Read my lips

A Summary

All I want is for my best to be enough

Existence is exhausting

Aware of everything

I’m satisfied and happy

With who I’ve become as a person

And I’m still growing

Old beginnings with new endings

Been getting the hang of

What I used to only struggle with

Slowly falling harder

For love each day

I don’t want to live a life

Of regrets and what ifs

Having the confidence to make the first move

And really pursue someone

Or something

I care about is

Empowering

What?

Once again,

I reprogrammed my brain wrong

I can receive all of the advice, encouragement, and criticism

In the world

But in the end, it’s up to me

Looking back and comparing then to now

Really breaks and soothes my heart

I know what’s best for me

Exactly how much do I believe it though?

Self-sabotage party for one

Like my soul is decomposing

Playing with fire

Because I believe in magic

Optimistic optical illusions

I don’t know what I miss more

I kind of wish

That expectations didn’t exist

They’re so divisive

High and low through highs and lows

Rarely correlate

Heavy is the head that wears the crown

Thanks for picking me up

And being patient with me through all of this

Sensitive

I could never be stoic

It’s impossible

I’ve got the world on my shoulders

And the world’s emotions in my heart

Being sensitive doesn’t mean

That I’m stupid, weak, or naive

My heart beats for love

And that gives me all of the strength

That I could ever need

You don’t know what I’m thinking

But I know how you’re feeling

Because I likely feel it too

Tender and tough

I won’t hide how I feel

Or how you make me feel

For your comfort

I feel with my whole body

Taking over all of my thoughts

Never really over

I’m a sensitive soul

Must be where my wisdom comes from

There is no textbook

That can teach you life lessons

There is no shame or abnormality

In having and showing feelings

It’s contagious

Overwhelmed with tears, smiles, screams, conversations, and silence

It’s not easy

But I wouldn’t change it

I was born ready

Therapy Session With Myself

Damn, where is time going?

I’m seriously starting to think that it’s not just me

It gets tiring and stressful

And hard to find the right words to start

I need to start surrounding myself

With more positive vibes and energy

Because I’ve been experiencing

So much personal inner turmoil

And absorbing all of the negativity around me lately

I need to better practice self-care,

Throw myself into my passions,

And apply that same work ethic

To my responsibilities

I need to be more open with the people

Who both care about me and can understand

Exactly what I’m going through

I need to remember

That I don’t have to fight every battle

And deal with everything alone

I could love myself more,

But I don’t hate myself

I need to not be so hard on myself

Because not everything is my fault

And when something is my fault and/or I could improve,

I need to stop burying it

Until it explodes later on

I have the power

To make certain changes in my life

And I need to practice what I preach

Only then, will I reach my full potential

And truly feel healthy

Physically

Mentally

Emotionally

Socially

Spiritually

Please Hold On

Spending some time alone is much better than

Being in a toxic relationship

With yourself

Leave that and stay alive

 

One more day

One more night

And another

And another

It’s going to be alright

 

Put the harmful objects down

And pick yourself up

It’s too easy to fall over the edge

You are still here

Not everyone who will love you

Has met you yet

 

One more word

One more touch

And another

And another

Until it doesn’t feel like too much

 

Your existence is not a sin

Breathe out and in

There are so many people in awe of you

And all that you do

The evil voice in your head is wrong

 

You’re not alone

You’re never alone

You’ve never been alone

Somebody has been where you are

Has felt how you feel

Could even be going through it

Right along with you

From the bottom of rock bottom

To the top of the world

Buttercups

His hair continues to fall in his face

Even when cut

I don’t want to be built up

Only to be let down

Clumsy and we can’t help it

 

He speaks a million words a minute

And I would travel a thousand miles

To listen to and absorb

Every single one

I want to learn everything

That he could possibly teach

 

Strength in fragility

I thought we were completely different

But we’re practically one and the same

Schools of fish in the deep baby blue

Students of life

And all of its wonders

 

He is older than me

Yet seems so much younger

So wild, free, and put together

Sugar sweet poison

Yellow, the “happy” color

Yellow is my favorite color

 

Flowers line the city streets

Like petals on the ground

Of a wedding aisle

His smile is seriously beautiful

I long to be his special girl someday

And I’m screwed because of it

 

 

My Heart Seems to Become More Open Every Time It Breaks

Small town girl

Big city girl

Suburban gothic

In my sometimes lonely world

 

You cut me open

And I never stop bleeding

Even after that wound heals

I’m an emotional livestream

 

Alone, I fall apart

Alone, I put myself back together

Picking up the pieces

And flinging them like ashes

Into the ocean

 

Cried tears in oceans and rivers

And I’ll do it again

As many times as needed

Low self-worth took a toll on my mental health

But with each lost love,

I learn how to love myself

 

I remember my younger self

And how I always wanted

To make myself proud

From feeling small, I grow

 

I was vulnerable with you

And you took advantage of it

As a result, I found strength in it

And received a kingdom of love

After the reign of pain

 

To figure me out,

You have to figure out my heart

Deal

Let’s not forget

To start the beginning

Of the story of us

I’ll wear your shirts

If you wear your heart on your sleeve

Between you and me

No broken hearts now

Just this immaculate love

 

Let’s talk about sex

Let’s talk about you and I

The good and bad

Our whole lives

Let’s make history

 

Let’s imagine there’s a bed

In every room

Keep coming back for more

I’ll take the world off of your shoulders

If you are my lover

The love of my life

 

Every page in our photo album framed

Moving up and down

Through the ups and downs

Stop the world and be right here

 

Let’s make an eternal deal

Do I want you?

Do I need you?

Yes

I do

I do 

Tripped Out

Blue lace bra

Costume shop

Beach hunt

Sex on a couch

Office floor

Or in a guest room

 

Strangers in the backyard

Danger in the neighborhood

Always getting closer

But I can never seem to run fast enough

 

Falling off a balcony

Jumping down an elevator shaft

Snakes and clouds of mist

Too soon and too late

 

In his arms

Underneath her

Necromancy beside the stairs

High speed

Slow motion

Reality in a fiction flying out of a blender

Out the door

Repetition

Reoccurring

 

Attacked and threatened

Protect the toys

Driver’s license as currency

Familiar faces and places

Turned inside out

 

Demons

Ghosts

Haunting to forget

Love

Is it love?

Seeing through me

Trying to make sense

Of what could also be nonsense

Dream interpretation can be a bitch