Breaking Tradition

An uncomfortable kind of comfortable

A blinding light that some refuse to see

Deafening cries that some refuse to hear

If your breath gets taken away,

That doesn’t mean you can’t breathe

 

 

I’m a little lost

I’m never too young or old to need help

 

 

 

I have a lot to say

Yet, I feel like I’ve done more listening than speaking

Listening isn’t a bad thing though

Some people do more speaking than listening

Too much or not enough can each be recipes for disaster

 

 

 

Caught in a whirlwind

Of doves and mockingbirds

Great stories torn apart by sides

There won’t be any getting along

Until everyone can admit when they’re wrong

 

 

 

My life

My words

Nothing to prove

Everything to live for

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Rosemary Land

The past keeps making a comeback

Bones ache underneath youthful skin

Who gave the toxic waste a microphone?

Got any spare guts to spill?

It’s a starry night

If only we cared enough to see it

Fires are drop dead beautiful

Be alright for a few hours

The night is almost over

 

Have you found your purpose yet?

It’s safe to lose yourself here and now

And look as good as you’re trying to feel

Chew and swallow

Crushed or cubed ice

Donate your soul for research

 

Take a hike and follow the path

That was strayed from

Peace and quiet seems too sweet and quiet

Giving your worth away

To a debt that won’t leave you alone

What are you left with?

 

The past keeps making a comeback

Flowers wilt in an endless downpour

Question every question

Because questions make decisions

 

Who?

What?

When?

Where?

Why?

How?

And repeat

A New Kind of Serendipity

I give up

No, I don’t

I’m a waste of space

No, I’m not

My next move is my next goal, big or small

 

My dreams and health come first

Wait your turn

I’m carrying an empty treasure chest inside me

Fill me up buttercup

 

It’s my heaven and I’ll cry if I want to

It’s my graveyard and I’ll die if I want to

Even if I have to fake it

When you won’t let me take my time

 

I’m not what they told me I am

I’m not what I told myself I am

Not the greatest or the worst

But more than I think

And less than a forced pedestal

You’re not who you think you are

You are you!

War Stories

Tenderhearted until a violent amendment feels threatened

Why are we always so close, but so far

When it comes to safety laws?

Yes, we’re triggered by the trigger

Because the trigger is a serial killer

Firing nonstop like the spreading of wildfire

 

All this talk about making the future great

While the future gets murdered

In cold blood by the cold-blooded

Are you happy?

Are you proud?

 

The gesture is nice, but it isn’t the cure

There’s enough thoughts and prayers

To last a lifetime cut short

Guns don’t save the world

People do

Hopefully, there will be enough left

No matter what, enough is enough

Of the violence, hate, ego, greed, and fear mongering

 

Where is the limit?

We thought it was young schoolchildren

But apparently, the limit does not exist

 

It may be normalized

But it will never be normal

They’d rather blame the mentally ill

Than help them

They’d rather profit from lives lost

Than prevent them from being lost

 

Where is the love that’s constantly preached about?

Words fall through the cracks

When action falls behind

Keep hope alive

Even if it’s relying on life support

Because somehow, more value is placed on immediate money

Than basic morality

 

How many more?

There shouldn’t be any more

 

No hard feelings (actually, maybe quite a few)

Ignoring a problem

Has never solved it

Shocking, but not surprising

Never less heartbreaking or horrifying

An epidemic of repeated history

 

It seems to hit closer and closer to home

One of my biggest fears is now who will be the next body to fall

Someone I know?

Mine?

And I’m not the only one

How is that fair?

How is that acceptable?

Victories are significant

In the battle of good and evil

Sadness

Using storm clouds as an umbrella

And they change colors like a mood ring

Haven’t been in love yet

Just loved and sometimes lonely

Been the poison and the victim

At war with thoughts that succeeded

At making me feel worthless

Spending a large part of my life

Believing lies

Even those told by my own brain

My bedroom is my ballroom

Where I try to get lost in music

Or words on paper

Instead of the shadows of myself

Falling out of the sky

With only my corpse to catch me

 

I’m told I’m loved

Even when I know I can be too much

I’m told I’m never too much

Even when I feel like I’m never enough

I’m told I’m more than enough

I don’t fully believe it

But I almost do

 

What’s real and what’s fabricated?

The love that exists all around me

That always has and always will

The beauty of my heart, mind, soul, and smile

That shines through, despite the breakage

All of that is irrevocably real

And the fabrication that causes I and millions of others to suffer

Is real and powerful as well

But it can be defeated throughout life’s moments

Because healing is not linear

 

Nowadays, if I can’t find a safe place,

I build one

I’ve never felt more like myself

Because this is me

I think I’ve finally struck a balance

Between loving and helping others

And myself

I cry when I’m hurting and when I’m not

And that’s okay

Because I’m taking care of myself,

Staying out of harm’s way

Clean isn’t easy

You can’t sugarcoat it

But my truth is that I’m grateful to still be alive

And writing this poem made me cry

Loss of Power

Cut the power cord

Pucker up for the limelight

I’m smiling in my mind

Unfair system override

 

I’m all out of heartbeats

But I don’t want a transplant

I’m all out of fucks to give

But there are certain things I care a lot about

I can leave the wounds alone

But I can’t forget that they are there

Sleep the days away

Dream the nights away

 

Everyone’s demands take a backseat

To my worth

I need to be stable

Cremate me in my own tears

 

Complex ruler

I don’t self-medicate

I medicate the self

Hooked on satisfaction

Even when it makes me feverish

My life is an indie movie

And I’m a method actress

 

Fading into falling apart

A sinner until that daylight hits

It’s never over

Power comes from loss

I’m ready to go, but I don’t want to get up

Reaching my high

In my lost mind

It’s Getting Dark

Once I’m in, all I want is out

I’ll never be the same

But I saw the opportunity and took it

Vampire bites and dreams of games

That are constantly played in real life

Little did my inner child know

Forced pity makes me sick

I don’t need it from you if it’s nothing more than a requirement

 

I think a part of me is scared to achieve

Because it could be taken from me

I know I should be living for myself

So, don’t abuse my love because I still need to use it

 

I join to avoid

It’s no problem

The air is getting heated

We have to suffocate to enjoy the party

They took the red pill and they took the blue

I cried in the bathroom and took the purple

It’s all uphill from here

Because I’ve already been down

Time to be more alone than feel it

 

Caught in the pouring rain

With no idea what kind of moment to have

To let it be depressing

To come alive

Or ignore it

Just another rainy day or night

A member of too many cliques to count

And every single one has a loose screw