Sadness

Using storm clouds as an umbrella

And they change colors like a mood ring

Haven’t been in love yet

Just loved and sometimes lonely

Been the poison and the victim

At war with thoughts that succeeded

At making me feel worthless

Spending a large part of my life

Believing lies

Even those told by my own brain

My bedroom is my ballroom

Where I try to get lost in music

Or words on paper

Instead of the shadows of myself

Falling out of the sky

With only my corpse to catch me

 

I’m told I’m loved

Even when I know I can be too much

I’m told I’m never too much

Even when I feel like I’m never enough

I’m told I’m more than enough

I don’t fully believe it

But I almost do

 

What’s real and what’s fabricated?

The love that exists all around me

That always has and always will

The beauty of my heart, mind, soul, and smile

That shines through, despite the breakage

All of that is irrevocably real

And the fabrication that causes I and millions of others to suffer

Is real and powerful as well

But it can be defeated throughout life’s moments

Because healing is not linear

 

Nowadays, if I can’t find a safe place,

I build one

I’ve never felt more like myself

Because this is me

I think I’ve finally struck a balance

Between loving and helping others

And myself

I cry when I’m hurting and when I’m not

And that’s okay

Because I’m taking care of myself,

Staying out of harm’s way

Clean isn’t easy

You can’t sugarcoat it

But my truth is that I’m grateful to still be alive

And writing this poem made me cry

The Living Dead

The four seasons have gone by

Like a train passing through the countryside

The past is all over the floor

And I’m beginning to fully forgive you

 

We both deserve better

Even if it isn’t each other

I don’t want to overthink this anymore

Break the arrow in half

 

I don’t need a rush to feel alive

I got caught up too much

You’re a risk taker

And a risk giver

Inner peace becomes violent

We’re nothing more than opposites

With similarities

Yet, our connection is larger than life

 

Progress has been made

Never too far away

Only you can change you

Only I can change me

We’re pretty great in our own ways

Painting different pictures

By blending colors

And like raindrops,

We’ll always fall together

Intoxicated, Looking In

Let’s go to outer space

We have nothing better to do

Stranger at first sight

Familiar at first love

Outcasts stay gold

 

Word vomit for the win

Catch a glimpse of my good side

I can tell you’re into it

Broken butterflies for the win

Devour me like romantic poetry

I could easily repay you because I tend to love too much

Take your wine out of the glass and freeze it

You owe me, remember?

 

Painting with rose colors

Rolling around the end credits like sheets

Drink me- I’m the poison and the antidote

 

If nothing makes us happier, we’re blind

If I didn’t pull you to the side, you’d be roadkill

Take this for what it is

You can be such a narcissist

But in the state I’m in, I kind of love it

 

I breathed you in once

And now, I can’t stop

Or I won’t stop

You touched me once

Why stop now?

Loss of Power

Cut the power cord

Pucker up for the limelight

I’m smiling in my mind

Unfair system override

 

I’m all out of heartbeats

But I don’t want a transplant

I’m all out of fucks to give

But there are certain things I care a lot about

I can leave the wounds alone

But I can’t forget that they are there

Sleep the days away

Dream the nights away

 

Everyone’s demands take a backseat

To my worth

I need to be stable

Cremate me in my own tears

 

Complex ruler

I don’t self-medicate

I medicate the self

Hooked on satisfaction

Even when it makes me feverish

My life is an indie movie

And I’m a method actress

 

Fading into falling apart

A sinner until that daylight hits

It’s never over

Power comes from loss

I’m ready to go, but I don’t want to get up

Reaching my high

In my lost mind

Road Trip

Mascara tears in my mind

Favorite places begin to feel like strangers

I can hear everything you’re not saying

It’s infuriating

 

The world won’t always cater to you

No matter what image of yourself you print

I could’ve sworn you said you’d always be here

Yet, there you are with your arms around somebody else

You weren’t ready for heaven

So, you settled for a basic blank slate

But you can’t clean up your mess this time

 

I don’t love or hate you

I like and resent you

Another scar carved into my tree of life

I don’t wish you the worst or wish you well

I wish you traffic jams and peace

 

I take several steps back

But it’s hard to completely let go

I deserve so much better than this

Where are my keys?

 

I wake up from sweet dreams

Better off without you

 

You’re just as confusing as everyone who confuses you

An apple a day won’t keep the snake bites away

I took the long way home

Turned the corner and saw an angel

I am almost reborn

Subliminal

Bring your own hurricane

It’ll help you stand out

Everyone loves a disaster

Until it’s natural

Make a museum out of going viral

Keep adding wings because we want to fly

 

The cardiac arrest is in development

Genius brains are under construction

The wind can make you look strong

And feel weak

 

Being afraid is so in right now

Because fear makes you do stupid things

Your bravery made you a superstar

 

The grass is alive

Under all of the concrete

They said never give up, so we quit

Now, we’re sleeping with dead fish

And turning our water into wine

Because we’re not sure what to do with our lives

 

The line to the cemetery is getting shorter