Infinity and Beyond On High

I never want to change who I am

Everyone else does it for me

Depending on the point-of-view, I’m strong or broken

Joke’s on you because I’m both

And everything in between

 

I’m emotionally overbearing

With an unlimited supply of empathy

I’m guilty of victimizing myself out of fear

Along with falling for other people’s games out of love

I live in an almost constant state of insecurity

I said almost

 

I worry about being unloveable

At the same time, I know for a fact

That I’m so deserving

 

It can take me years to speak up

But when I do, I say it all

Opening the floodgates

I don’t understand the difference

Between love and infatuation

Between true and fake friends

Between genuine family members and selfish manipulators

Until I’ve gotten hurt or taken advantage of

Learned the same lesson again and again

 

I’m amazing in many ways

Beautiful inside and out

I’m a gift to know

And capable of impactful things

I bring light to the darkness

No matter how I’m feeling

I’m a heart-to-heart listener

A potential bestseller

Sweet and smart

Still alive

 

Demons throughout the course of my life,

Online, and in my mind

Told me I’m never good enough

For a multitude of reasons

I beg your fucking pardon

I am a delight

What the Inside of a Broken Heart Looks Like

Do I still remember

Who the real me is?

Has there ever been a time

When I didn’t feel like

There’s something missing?

Body, mind, soul, and heart all connected

By a broken thread

 

All I know is that I don’t know

I either feel too much or nothing at all

And suddenly, I can’t breathe

 

Cold coffee from being left out and forgotten about

Leftover tear stains on the pillowcase

Visits to every type of doctor’s office more nerve wracking than before

I just want to be okay

Is that too much to ask?

 

Unable to admit when I need someone

Until I’m alone

I want to know what love is

So I can show myself that it exists

 

Supernatural Supreme

Making it a new routine

To hit myself up every day

To check in, make sure I’m doing okay

If not, will make a change

My birth was no accident

Manifesting all day and night

I always knew how to fly

The goal is to take that leap

 

Take chances I’m given

Take chances before they’re taken away

Psychic, but more on the intuitive side

Constantly shocking everybody, including me

 

Where am I?

Anywhere I’m meant to be in life

I do what I want, like, love, and need

Nobody knows that better than me

 

The energy around me feels different

But not in an off way

Touching glimmers of light and darkness

With a dual purpose

Even With Your Imperfections, You Can Do Anything

Even when you walk alone,

You walk with your head held high

Even when you are patronized,

Your smile stretches a mile wide

 

When you don’t have a clue what you’re doing,

You keep going

When you finally figure it out,

It can still change

 

Surrounded by chaos

And you remain true to yourself

Yelled at, deceived, hurt

And you continue to heal

Breath stolen by black holes

You take it back every time

 

When made to feel small,

You grow

When you find yourself lost,

You follow the star in your heart

They tried to hold you back

They can’t reach you anymore

 

Skin wasn’t glowing yet

Your soul always did

Walls weren’t strong enough

But you were and continue to be

Your heart breaks easily

But it wasn’t true love in the first place

Avalanche of expectations from onlookers

You created your own happiness

 

Everything has gotten worse and harder

Everything has also started looking up and getting better

Intrusive thoughts are violent

Your mindset encourages you to be a pacifist

In the war within your head

If someone appears to have more,

That does not make you worth any less

 

Note to self

Look at how far you’ve come

Look at how close you are

To the next chapter

With every scar and flaw,

You are writing it

Autobiographical

Drawing a blank right now

Can’t constantly be creative on call

I plan to improvise

Be spontaneous to strategize

 

I am and am not broken

Can’t think of anything I’m infamous for

Yet, I still feel guilty

Even though I give selflessly

Must be the water sign in me

With a splash of anxiety

 

Not sure if tiredness being part of my personality

Was a natural occurrence

Or man made

Guess it was both

 

With how much I survive

From thinking and dreaming,

I was ready to start writing

Before I started speaking

 

I am love and passion intertwined

Where is Home?

Wherever I’m happy and at peace

Because those states of mind

Are rare for me

Love that takes me to nirvana

Whether it comes from me or someone else

The bed in the space

Between a rock and a hard place

Where dream worlds and reality collide

To center the universe

24/7 365

Time doesn’t matter

There’s no rush to get to know myself

Nobody and nothing can take it away

The warm, beating heart in the space

Between a glacier and a cold place

Price Match

Jealousy is a homewrecker and proud

It’s also a natural human emotion

When everyone’s dreams keep living

While yours keep dying

Planting new seeds

Hoping some potential can be spared

 

Everything is on sale

Except the sale itself

Can’t be happy in the sky

Or on the ground

If you’re not happy at all

I’m not talking about me

Or am I?

 

Flowers speak a love language

The moon suddenly smiled brighter than the sun

Almost like a flicker of hope

Glass slippers never alone together

Many worlds in one room

 

It was never my intention

To let my life pass me by

Sometimes, it just happens

Lost inside myself

Safe inside myself

Torrential rain won’t stop me

Don’t look at me like that

 

More than a percentage

More than a label

More than a dream

More than you and your vultures

 

Sad pages come before revelations

It is what it is

Existence is a dichotomy

It’s finally starting to make sense