Fin.

Skip forward in time

To a bright future

A better life

Walk away from doubt

Four empty walls

Since the occupants

Went to go frolic

In the sunflowers

Turn the car around

A culture of hope is right behind you

All you need is love,

Reciprocation,

And success

Read my lips

A Summary

All I want is for my best to be enough

Existence is exhausting

Aware of everything

I’m satisfied and happy

With who I’ve become as a person

And I’m still growing

Old beginnings with new endings

Been getting the hang of

What I used to only struggle with

Slowly falling harder

For love each day

I don’t want to live a life

Of regrets and what ifs

Having the confidence to make the first move

And really pursue someone

Or something

I care about is

Empowering

Therapy Session With Myself

Damn, where is time going?

I’m seriously starting to think that it’s not just me

It gets tiring and stressful

And hard to find the right words to start

I need to start surrounding myself

With more positive vibes and energy

Because I’ve been experiencing

So much personal inner turmoil

And absorbing all of the negativity around me lately

I need to better practice self-care,

Throw myself into my passions,

And apply that same work ethic

To my responsibilities

I need to be more open with the people

Who both care about me and can understand

Exactly what I’m going through

I need to remember

That I don’t have to fight every battle

And deal with everything alone

I could love myself more,

But I don’t hate myself

I need to not be so hard on myself

Because not everything is my fault

And when something is my fault and/or I could improve,

I need to stop burying it

Until it explodes later on

I have the power

To make certain changes in my life

And I need to practice what I preach

Only then, will I reach my full potential

And truly feel healthy

Physically

Mentally

Emotionally

Socially

Spiritually

Please Hold On

Spending some time alone is much better than

Being in a toxic relationship

With yourself

Leave that and stay alive

 

One more day

One more night

And another

And another

It’s going to be alright

 

Put the harmful objects down

And pick yourself up

It’s too easy to fall over the edge

You are still here

Not everyone who will love you

Has met you yet

 

One more word

One more touch

And another

And another

Until it doesn’t feel like too much

 

Your existence is not a sin

Breathe out and in

There are so many people in awe of you

And all that you do

The evil voice in your head is wrong

 

You’re not alone

You’re never alone

You’ve never been alone

Somebody has been where you are

Has felt how you feel

Could even be going through it

Right along with you

From the bottom of rock bottom

To the top of the world

My Heart Seems to Become More Open Every Time It Breaks

Small town girl

Big city girl

Suburban gothic

In my sometimes lonely world

 

You cut me open

And I never stop bleeding

Even after that wound heals

I’m an emotional livestream

 

Alone, I fall apart

Alone, I put myself back together

Picking up the pieces

And flinging them like ashes

Into the ocean

 

Cried tears in oceans and rivers

And I’ll do it again

As many times as needed

Low self-worth took a toll on my mental health

But with each lost love,

I learn how to love myself

 

I remember my younger self

And how I always wanted

To make myself proud

From feeling small, I grow

 

I was vulnerable with you

And you took advantage of it

As a result, I found strength in it

And received a kingdom of love

After the reign of pain

 

To figure me out,

You have to figure out my heart

I Burn, I Pine, I Perish

I’m able to write love poems

Regardless of whether or not

I am in love

But if you were in love with me,

That would be an entirely different story

 

Like, love- kind of sort of

The same difference

I tend to force happiness

Until it’s impossible to feel it

Around them anymore

You raised me up

To be able to drop me

From high enough

Outside, I keep quiet

Inside, I’m crying and screaming

My heart can’t believe it

I fell back into the same old patterns

You could’ve had me

Now, you never will

At first, I didn’t get it

Now, I’ll be making sure of it

 

I can get too into my head

So, maybe I appear to be

Not into you

Maybe you were once into me

But changed your mind

Because you weren’t ready

And/or preferred somebody

More toxic

Or you were never even into me

And I created a narrative

To trick myself

Into loving myself

Because maybe, someone finally

Loved me back

 

I want to be wanted

I need to feel needed

Holding back from messaging first

Because “first” can equal “one”

And “one” can lead to “one-sided”

Someday, I’ll have a better experience

An experience that lasts a lifetime

Stripped Version

Above all,

I love myself to the core

I walked across an ocean

And swam through hot coals

To get to me

By the time you stop to stare,

I’ve already moved on

 

Think of me as a warrior

On rare occasions, you come out and say it

That’s what you expect me to be

And that’s what I became

At the time, for you

Now, I go all in and all out for me

 

Trying to take things one step at a time

When everything in life seems to happen all at once

There’s more to life than the pain

There are people who can function as support

When they’re not the problem

Stress is a driving and drowning force

However, my love is worth more

Seasons of high heart market value

 

I am strong, but it’s impossible to be strong all the time

And that’s okay

Health is a jigsaw puzzle

Love is a journey with an invisible end in sight

Infinity and Beyond On High

I never want to change who I am

Everyone else does it for me

Depending on the point-of-view, I’m strong or broken

Joke’s on you because I’m both

And everything in between

 

I’m emotionally overbearing

With an unlimited supply of empathy

I’m guilty of victimizing myself out of fear

Along with falling for other people’s games out of love

I live in an almost constant state of insecurity

I said almost

 

I worry about being unloveable

At the same time, I know for a fact

That I’m so deserving

 

It can take me years to speak up

But when I do, I say it all

Opening the floodgates

I don’t understand the difference

Between love and infatuation

Between true and fake friends

Between genuine family members and selfish manipulators

Until I’ve gotten hurt or taken advantage of

Learned the same lesson again and again

 

I’m amazing in many ways

Beautiful inside and out

I’m a gift to know

And capable of impactful things

I bring light to the darkness

No matter how I’m feeling

I’m a heart-to-heart listener

A potential bestseller

Sweet and smart

Still alive

 

Demons throughout the course of my life,

Online, and in my mind

Told me I’m never good enough

For a multitude of reasons

I beg your fucking pardon

I am a delight

What the Inside of a Broken Heart Looks Like

Do I still remember

Who the real me is?

Has there ever been a time

When I didn’t feel like

There’s something missing?

Body, mind, soul, and heart all connected

By a broken thread

 

All I know is that I don’t know

I either feel too much or nothing at all

And suddenly, I can’t breathe

 

Cold coffee from being left out and forgotten about

Leftover tear stains on the pillowcase

Visits to every type of doctor’s office more nerve wracking than before

I just want to be okay

Is that too much to ask?

 

Unable to admit when I need someone

Until I’m alone

I want to know what love is

So I can show myself that it exists

 

Supernatural Supreme

Making it a new routine

To hit myself up every day

To check in, make sure I’m doing okay

If not, will make a change

My birth was no accident

Manifesting all day and night

I always knew how to fly

The goal is to take that leap

 

Take chances I’m given

Take chances before they’re taken away

Psychic, but more on the intuitive side

Constantly shocking everybody, including me

 

Where am I?

Anywhere I’m meant to be in life

I do what I want, like, love, and need

Nobody knows that better than me

 

The energy around me feels different

But not in an off way

Touching glimmers of light and darkness

With a dual purpose