Fin.

Skip forward in time

To a bright future

A better life

Walk away from doubt

Four empty walls

Since the occupants

Went to go frolic

In the sunflowers

Turn the car around

A culture of hope is right behind you

All you need is love,

Reciprocation,

And success

Read my lips

A Summary

All I want is for my best to be enough

Existence is exhausting

Aware of everything

I’m satisfied and happy

With who I’ve become as a person

And I’m still growing

Old beginnings with new endings

Been getting the hang of

What I used to only struggle with

Slowly falling harder

For love each day

I don’t want to live a life

Of regrets and what ifs

Having the confidence to make the first move

And really pursue someone

Or something

I care about is

Empowering

Please Hold On

Spending some time alone is much better than

Being in a toxic relationship

With yourself

Leave that and stay alive

 

One more day

One more night

And another

And another

It’s going to be alright

 

Put the harmful objects down

And pick yourself up

It’s too easy to fall over the edge

You are still here

Not everyone who will love you

Has met you yet

 

One more word

One more touch

And another

And another

Until it doesn’t feel like too much

 

Your existence is not a sin

Breathe out and in

There are so many people in awe of you

And all that you do

The evil voice in your head is wrong

 

You’re not alone

You’re never alone

You’ve never been alone

Somebody has been where you are

Has felt how you feel

Could even be going through it

Right along with you

From the bottom of rock bottom

To the top of the world

My Heart Seems to Become More Open Every Time It Breaks

Small town girl

Big city girl

Suburban gothic

In my sometimes lonely world

 

You cut me open

And I never stop bleeding

Even after that wound heals

I’m an emotional livestream

 

Alone, I fall apart

Alone, I put myself back together

Picking up the pieces

And flinging them like ashes

Into the ocean

 

Cried tears in oceans and rivers

And I’ll do it again

As many times as needed

Low self-worth took a toll on my mental health

But with each lost love,

I learn how to love myself

 

I remember my younger self

And how I always wanted

To make myself proud

From feeling small, I grow

 

I was vulnerable with you

And you took advantage of it

As a result, I found strength in it

And received a kingdom of love

After the reign of pain

 

To figure me out,

You have to figure out my heart

Wilted Bouquet

Strong people are capable of being weak

That doesn’t take away from your strength

When your tower tumbles,

You can build the blocks back up

 

You are loved and valued

Your life is full of worth, purpose, and meaning

You deserve to smile

 

They cannot see

Just how great you can be

All that you can become

So, they chose to leave

 

You never really lost

You simply loved

That’s good enough

You’re never alone

If no one else cares, I always will

 

After everything that people ever stole,

You ended up creating something even better

Write the story of your life

And burn their false narratives

To the ground

Sometimes, there’s more than one right answer

You’re not falling behind

Nothing lasts forever

So take your time

Color outside of the lines

 

At times, your bouquet may wilt

That doesn’t mean you’ll never bloom again

I Burn, I Pine, I Perish

I’m able to write love poems

Regardless of whether or not

I am in love

But if you were in love with me,

That would be an entirely different story

 

Like, love- kind of sort of

The same difference

I tend to force happiness

Until it’s impossible to feel it

Around them anymore

You raised me up

To be able to drop me

From high enough

Outside, I keep quiet

Inside, I’m crying and screaming

My heart can’t believe it

I fell back into the same old patterns

You could’ve had me

Now, you never will

At first, I didn’t get it

Now, I’ll be making sure of it

 

I can get too into my head

So, maybe I appear to be

Not into you

Maybe you were once into me

But changed your mind

Because you weren’t ready

And/or preferred somebody

More toxic

Or you were never even into me

And I created a narrative

To trick myself

Into loving myself

Because maybe, someone finally

Loved me back

 

I want to be wanted

I need to feel needed

Holding back from messaging first

Because “first” can equal “one”

And “one” can lead to “one-sided”

Someday, I’ll have a better experience

An experience that lasts a lifetime

On the Inside, Looking Out

Dancing around my room

To do a deep clean of my soul

Making myself laugh in the bathroom mirror

When it feels like I could cry

Flopping onto my bed, chairs, and the floor

When you’re tired of many things,

You settle for comfortable

 

Familiar surroundings

Associated with familiar feelings

What’s the weather like there?

It’s like me

 

Tell me that time is of the essence

I’ll tell you that time doesn’t exist

Savor it; don’t rush it

Why are we in such a hurry to die?

The truth is juicy shock value

Stages of life claim to be the expectation

Where’s the originality?

Industries came marching in

Disguised as saints

To crush dreams of morning glories

 

Idolizing influencers who are often under the influence

Awards on award shows seem like participation trophies

I could live without my phone

But could you live without judging others?

I doubt that I’m alone in this

Sometimes, I impulsively isolate

It’s nothing personal, but if the shoe fits…

 

I’m inside out of my mind

Always cold, so I parade around

In a bathrobe like it’s a wedding dress

Your normal is my discomfort zone

Love the lonely

Infinity and Beyond On High

I never want to change who I am

Everyone else does it for me

Depending on the point-of-view, I’m strong or broken

Joke’s on you because I’m both

And everything in between

 

I’m emotionally overbearing

With an unlimited supply of empathy

I’m guilty of victimizing myself out of fear

Along with falling for other people’s games out of love

I live in an almost constant state of insecurity

I said almost

 

I worry about being unloveable

At the same time, I know for a fact

That I’m so deserving

 

It can take me years to speak up

But when I do, I say it all

Opening the floodgates

I don’t understand the difference

Between love and infatuation

Between true and fake friends

Between genuine family members and selfish manipulators

Until I’ve gotten hurt or taken advantage of

Learned the same lesson again and again

 

I’m amazing in many ways

Beautiful inside and out

I’m a gift to know

And capable of impactful things

I bring light to the darkness

No matter how I’m feeling

I’m a heart-to-heart listener

A potential bestseller

Sweet and smart

Still alive

 

Demons throughout the course of my life,

Online, and in my mind

Told me I’m never good enough

For a multitude of reasons

I beg your fucking pardon

I am a delight

I Could Be a Cherry Bomb, But I’ll Never Be Yours

I can tell by the way you look at me

And how you talk to me

That you see potential in me

But when you repeatedly ignore me

Or brush me off for somebody else

It shows that you don’t really care

 

I am everything you want and more

You never wanted me

So, why should I care?

My heart is my home

You have no place here

 

You treat me like I’m second best

I know I am the best

The best you never had

Your hands are red

Broke my heart over and over

Like it was nothing

I’m the type who is willing to give everything

You’re not getting anything

I wish I walked away and stayed away

You’re lucky that I was too nice back in the day

 

It all makes perfect sense now

You’re addicted to using others

For the love that you can’t give yourself

And I was desperate and naive enough

To volunteer as tribute

 

You convinced yourself that you were my savior

I once worshipped you as such

But I’m not your angel

I’ll fall with or without you

Reminding myself that I’ve always been stronger than you

Out of the Blue

You know what?

You’re a real piece of work

No longer my favorite song

Your ego is louder

Than your comforting words

 

You swore to always tell the truth

That turned out to be a lie

Turned me on and off until my electricity went out

I ate out of the palm of your hand

The result was malnourishment

We weren’t as mature as we thought

 

You are a rainbow

But in the end, I got a pot of coal

Instead of gold

A hurtful parody

Of the saint I romanticized you to be

 

My heart is back where it started

Broken, but still beating

I was so sure that you were yellow like me

But you were blue

I made it out alive