War Stories

Tenderhearted until a violent amendment feels threatened

Why are we always so close, but so far

When it comes to safety laws?

Yes, we’re triggered by the trigger

Because the trigger is a serial killer

Firing nonstop like the spreading of wildfire

 

All this talk about making the future great

While the future gets murdered

In cold blood by the cold-blooded

Are you happy?

Are you proud?

 

The gesture is nice, but it isn’t the cure

There’s enough thoughts and prayers

To last a lifetime cut short

Guns don’t save the world

People do

Hopefully, there will be enough left

No matter what, enough is enough

Of the violence, hate, ego, greed, and fear mongering

 

Where is the limit?

We thought it was young schoolchildren

But apparently, the limit does not exist

 

It may be normalized

But it will never be normal

They’d rather blame the mentally ill

Than help them

They’d rather profit from lives lost

Than prevent them from being lost

 

Where is the love that’s constantly preached about?

Words fall through the cracks

When action falls behind

Keep hope alive

Even if it’s relying on life support

Because somehow, more value is placed on immediate money

Than basic morality

 

How many more?

There shouldn’t be any more

 

No hard feelings (actually, maybe quite a few)

Ignoring a problem

Has never solved it

Shocking, but not surprising

Never less heartbreaking or horrifying

An epidemic of repeated history

 

It seems to hit closer and closer to home

One of my biggest fears is now who will be the next body to fall

Someone I know?

Mine?

And I’m not the only one

How is that fair?

How is that acceptable?

Victories are significant

In the battle of good and evil

Sadness

Using storm clouds as an umbrella

And they change colors like a mood ring

Haven’t been in love yet

Just loved and sometimes lonely

Been the poison and the victim

At war with thoughts that succeeded

At making me feel worthless

Spending a large part of my life

Believing lies

Even those told by my own brain

My bedroom is my ballroom

Where I try to get lost in music

Or words on paper

Instead of the shadows of myself

Falling out of the sky

With only my corpse to catch me

 

I’m told I’m loved

Even when I know I can be too much

I’m told I’m never too much

Even when I feel like I’m never enough

I’m told I’m more than enough

I don’t fully believe it

But I almost do

 

What’s real and what’s fabricated?

The love that exists all around me

That always has and always will

The beauty of my heart, mind, soul, and smile

That shines through, despite the breakage

All of that is irrevocably real

And the fabrication that causes I and millions of others to suffer

Is real and powerful as well

But it can be defeated throughout life’s moments

Because healing is not linear

 

Nowadays, if I can’t find a safe place,

I build one

I’ve never felt more like myself

Because this is me

I think I’ve finally struck a balance

Between loving and helping others

And myself

I cry when I’m hurting and when I’m not

And that’s okay

Because I’m taking care of myself,

Staying out of harm’s way

Clean isn’t easy

You can’t sugarcoat it

But my truth is that I’m grateful to still be alive

And writing this poem made me cry

Dancing With Moonshine

Because I write with so much feeling,

I can only write when I am feeling

Just taking a break hits me with withdrawal

Like I’m somebody that doesn’t even exist

This is my passion

This is my thing

Structured society may have career questions

But quitting is out of the question

 

I live for oxymorons and irony

There’s never just one right or wrong answer

What’s obvious

And what isn’t shown, but is true

 

If you catch me shivering,

Then I gave myself chills

My blood ran until it got cold

Or both

Walking in summer’s winter wonderland

Hand in hand with an invisible…

Good morning!

 

Carnival of the downward spiral

The occasional fairy light

The consequences are unlimited

Falling down voids that seem endless

They said that there will be blood

They said that there will be war

But not if a different voice is listened to

A different path taken

 

It’s raining bullets and beating hearts

Sedate my toxic imaginary friend

I could be a weapon of mass destruction

Yet, here stands the raw, unfiltered me

A vessel of mass compassion

 

I freestyle my way

Through the mazes of authority

That disguises itself as strong leadership

Suddenly noticing that I can’t stop smiling

Because I wrote a wonderful life

Living a Dream

No revelation arrives quickly or easily

I’m not fine

I don’t have to try or lie

I just am

 

Can’t tell if the bigger mess is all around me

Or inside me

I break down until I can sleep

Eventually, my axis returns to rotating normally

 

Thinking about reminders

That state how a day in the life

Doesn’t define the whole life

 

I keep a tight grip

On everything that has changed and shaped me

Into who I am proud of today

Who I love

I belong in a place

Where I can explore without getting lost

And take breaks without getting stuck

 

I used to believe that my misery

Was set in stone

But neither suffering nor healing

Should be lonely or precise

 

Positivity is not a constant state of happy

Social media and marketing are misleading you

Every emotion exists for a reason

But not everything happens for a reason

Not For Sale

Pandering is easy money

To attempt to become

Everything you’re not

Everything you’ll never be

The thing is that people don’t know

What they like

Until they give it a try

Brands are some trying times

 

I won’t fall apart

I won’t need to worry about winning or losing

If I don’t bother playing their game

Lessons learned

 

Oh wow

So many connotations for selling out

What feels right?

Language is perceptive

Actions are persuasive

Going, going, gone

Still around?

 

Sets being set up

Trending for no good reason

Or maybe there is?

Who knows?

Who knew?

Lies are accustomed to shielding the truth

The cutest couple

Not all of them are as happy as they look

 

The only thing missing is

Authenticity

I’ll admit to being a follower

Oh, you thought that I would stay there?

You were wrong about me

Enhanced Dimensions

Could be a paradox

How sleeping can either kill you

Or help you live longer

The seasons changed

But my mind did not

On the contrary, my energy shifted

Quite a lot

You’re only a good listener

If you truly listen

When someone tells you the truth

About you

Meanwhile, dreaming about thoughts

And thinking about dreams

 

I never said that I was always right or wrong

Just trying to put myself out there

Bare my soul

Without losing sight of myself

And what matters most

 

If there’s someone out there

Watching over me

From another space or time,

Please give me a hint

About who you are

That I didn’t truly see

Who’s been in front of me all along

Because I’ve swallowed so many hard pills

That I’m dehydrated

Maybe just one more…

 

Patience saved me

I know that I’m happy

In another world

But I want to be happy here too

Because this is my home

I deserve that at least

Lilac Clouds

Nirvana is so high of a being

That it feels like a place

We were born to worship the moon

Her gaze froze my rapid heartbeat

Dear diary,

I’ve never felt more beloved

 

If I could just let go

And fall without crashing

That would be paradise

She breathes her truth into me

And suddenly, the world makes sense

Impure purity will remind you

How special you are

 

If you look behind you,

The cemetery is on fire

They stole your heart

And turned it into a pillar of salt

Eat the remains

Before they climb out of their graves

And chase you again

 

Everything I’ve been looking for

I found inside me

Wish you were here

Coming down to earth

Open secrets

My guardian angel would be proud