Fin.

Skip forward in time

To a bright future

A better life

Walk away from doubt

Four empty walls

Since the occupants

Went to go frolic

In the sunflowers

Turn the car around

A culture of hope is right behind you

All you need is love,

Reciprocation,

And success

Read my lips

What?

Once again,

I reprogrammed my brain wrong

I can receive all of the advice, encouragement, and criticism

In the world

But in the end, it’s up to me

Looking back and comparing then to now

Really breaks and soothes my heart

I know what’s best for me

Exactly how much do I believe it though?

Self-sabotage party for one

Like my soul is decomposing

Playing with fire

Because I believe in magic

Optimistic optical illusions

I don’t know what I miss more

I kind of wish

That expectations didn’t exist

They’re so divisive

High and low through highs and lows

Rarely correlate

Heavy is the head that wears the crown

Thanks for picking me up

And being patient with me through all of this

Therapy Session With Myself

Damn, where is time going?

I’m seriously starting to think that it’s not just me

It gets tiring and stressful

And hard to find the right words to start

I need to start surrounding myself

With more positive vibes and energy

Because I’ve been experiencing

So much personal inner turmoil

And absorbing all of the negativity around me lately

I need to better practice self-care,

Throw myself into my passions,

And apply that same work ethic

To my responsibilities

I need to be more open with the people

Who both care about me and can understand

Exactly what I’m going through

I need to remember

That I don’t have to fight every battle

And deal with everything alone

I could love myself more,

But I don’t hate myself

I need to not be so hard on myself

Because not everything is my fault

And when something is my fault and/or I could improve,

I need to stop burying it

Until it explodes later on

I have the power

To make certain changes in my life

And I need to practice what I preach

Only then, will I reach my full potential

And truly feel healthy

Physically

Mentally

Emotionally

Socially

Spiritually

Cheer Down

Hard work doesn’t just build character

It can also tear it down

Talk the talk in public

Cry when alone

 

Every mistake treated like a failure

A wreck

Milestones delayed

 

Ringing alarm clock is a sucker punch

Pre-stressed about future stress

Simultaneously not trying enough

And trying too hard

 

My past and present selves

Constantly battle it out

To stand on the highest step

Cheering up is like finding an anchor

That can float

Monochrome

Color

Paint

Draw

Color

By number

All the same

In a simple way

 

Productivity

A mountain to climb

A hill to die on

An illusion to survive on

 

Feelings shiver and shake

Like earthquakes

Changing the groundwork

Laid by heathens and heroes

 

Seeing red

Seeing green

Seeing blind

Seeing the light

One day

Sometimes

At last

One Lifetime at a Time

Learning to take life one day at a time

Makes me want to stay alive

Trying to feel light

And find the light

When this year has been dark and heavy

From the very beginning

Wrong to miss the past

When change is so necessary

 

I don’t know how I survive

I just do

I don’t think that time has ever felt real

 

Interludes arrive

And you have no clue how to spend this free time

And before you know it, it’s over

 

As an empath in these times,

It feels like my heart is on fire

Messing with my head

And it’s everybody’s fault

Including my own

I will be vague and specific simultaneously

Finding your peace, while finding your voice

Is exhausting

And an extraordinary thing

 

Learning to take life one day at a time

Makes me want to stay alive

 

Stripped Version

Above all,

I love myself to the core

I walked across an ocean

And swam through hot coals

To get to me

By the time you stop to stare,

I’ve already moved on

 

Think of me as a warrior

On rare occasions, you come out and say it

That’s what you expect me to be

And that’s what I became

At the time, for you

Now, I go all in and all out for me

 

Trying to take things one step at a time

When everything in life seems to happen all at once

There’s more to life than the pain

There are people who can function as support

When they’re not the problem

Stress is a driving and drowning force

However, my love is worth more

Seasons of high heart market value

 

I am strong, but it’s impossible to be strong all the time

And that’s okay

Health is a jigsaw puzzle

Love is a journey with an invisible end in sight

On the Inside, Looking Out

Dancing around my room

To do a deep clean of my soul

Making myself laugh in the bathroom mirror

When it feels like I could cry

Flopping onto my bed, chairs, and the floor

When you’re tired of many things,

You settle for comfortable

 

Familiar surroundings

Associated with familiar feelings

What’s the weather like there?

It’s like me

 

Tell me that time is of the essence

I’ll tell you that time doesn’t exist

Savor it; don’t rush it

Why are we in such a hurry to die?

The truth is juicy shock value

Stages of life claim to be the expectation

Where’s the originality?

Industries came marching in

Disguised as saints

To crush dreams of morning glories

 

Idolizing influencers who are often under the influence

Awards on award shows seem like participation trophies

I could live without my phone

But could you live without judging others?

I doubt that I’m alone in this

Sometimes, I impulsively isolate

It’s nothing personal, but if the shoe fits…

 

I’m inside out of my mind

Always cold, so I parade around

In a bathrobe like it’s a wedding dress

Your normal is my discomfort zone

Love the lonely

Where is Home?

Wherever I’m happy and at peace

Because those states of mind

Are rare for me

Love that takes me to nirvana

Whether it comes from me or someone else

The bed in the space

Between a rock and a hard place

Where dream worlds and reality collide

To center the universe

24/7 365

Time doesn’t matter

There’s no rush to get to know myself

Nobody and nothing can take it away

The warm, beating heart in the space

Between a glacier and a cold place