Gray

Ghost wandering the halls

She thought she knew herself

Falls asleep only when it’s too late

To rest

Couldn’t choose a lucky star

So every night, she thanks all of them

Doesn’t want to be normal or abnormal

Just trying to stay alive

When it seems like her mind and body want her dead

 

Warmth feels cold

She’d give anything to feel anything else

Continues to put others before herself

Nobody ever warned her

That having too much of a kind heart could be bad for her health

 

Goddess watering the garden

Where everything struggles to grow

Yet, she still has hope

Driven to sobbing heaps on the ground

Screaming inside her head

Until she has a headache

That sticks around

Seeing the dark sides of nursery rhymes

And her buried childhood

 

Awake inside a bittersweet dream again

Feel something, feel something, feel something

No, not that

Please

Not that

Jumping in and out of earthquake ruptures

Holding scar tissue’s hand

They told her to carry on

Where are they now?

She needs help, but doesn’t want it

 

Her life is a beautiful, vicious cycle

You might see her ghost wandering the halls

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Insanity

If you have nothing nice to say,

You make sure that you say it all

You complain about being broke to relate

Then somehow, take an exotic trip every holiday

I don’t know you

And I don’t want to

 

Robotic aliens

So high

Bad means a good time

 

You make me sick

Don’t want to change

Just want the redemption narrative

All over your feed

Damage control laced with the damage you caused

A million wrongs won’t make a right

 

If you don’t have everything,

You make sure everyone thinks that you do

Your captions are a diary

But they don’t relate to you

Bodies are temporary

Karma is forever

A New Kind of Serendipity

I give up

No, I don’t

I’m a waste of space

No, I’m not

My next move is my next goal, big or small

 

My dreams and health come first

Wait your turn

I’m carrying an empty treasure chest inside me

Fill me up buttercup

 

It’s my heaven and I’ll cry if I want to

It’s my graveyard and I’ll die if I want to

Even if I have to fake it

When you won’t let me take my time

 

I’m not what they told me I am

I’m not what I told myself I am

Not the greatest or the worst

But more than I think

And less than a forced pedestal

You’re not who you think you are

You are you!

It’s Getting Dark

Once I’m in, all I want is out

I’ll never be the same

But I saw the opportunity and took it

Vampire bites and dreams of games

That are constantly played in real life

Little did my inner child know

Forced pity makes me sick

I don’t need it from you if it’s nothing more than a requirement

 

I think a part of me is scared to achieve

Because it could be taken from me

I know I should be living for myself

So, don’t abuse my love because I still need to use it

 

I join to avoid

It’s no problem

The air is getting heated

We have to suffocate to enjoy the party

They took the red pill and they took the blue

I cried in the bathroom and took the purple

It’s all uphill from here

Because I’ve already been down

Time to be more alone than feel it

 

Caught in the pouring rain

With no idea what kind of moment to have

To let it be depressing

To come alive

Or ignore it

Just another rainy day or night

A member of too many cliques to count

And every single one has a loose screw

Brave and Covered in Blood

The sound of silence can be deafening

Standardization was never enough to fix us

Chaotic good is my hero

Wearing white in hopes of being stained red

Blood red, cheered up with wine

Your closest family and friends aren’t that innocent either

Change is the devilish angel there is

Are you in or out?

 

Battle cry of the breakthrough battle

Previously hidden confidence

The sharpest sword is combining it with vulnerability

 

Take a piece of me

But it will always come back to me

Cut me open

And I’ll sew my own stitches

Spill my guts

I swallow truth until I’m broken enough

To break you

Strike you like a viper and you never saw it coming

 

Delicate, sensitive, but not weak

Stab my heart and I only get stronger

Play me for a fool

And I’ll prey on the predator

 

Sleeping Beauty became nightmare fuel

Suffocate me

And I learn to breathe more freely

Kill me

And I’ll haunt you for the rest of your life

And into the afterlife

The wicked deserve no rest

The damsel-in-distress always had dreams

I’ve always been so sweet and put together, right?

But everything is not what it seems

Charismatic

I don’t live in luxury

So, that means I have to hate the skin I’m in?

And so that you can sell your products?

What photoshopped happiness is this?

 

Consume more pain

The temporary pleasure will take the pain away

You need a magazine cover to be original

People will tell other people to respect your privacy

So that they can invade it in peace

And nothing is more real than reality TV

 

How do you love

When your favorite person is your favorite object?

How do you live with yourself

When you make someone not want to live themselves?

I don’t see the appeal

Of getting popular from who or what you steal

Beating broken hearts black and blue

 

You’ve got the look

All you need is the image

Don’t be yourself

Unless you have nothing to lose

 

There’s no time like tonight

Let’s catch up when there’s no time

I love what you can do for me

City of Sinful Innocence

Angel wings painted on walls

They wouldn’t exist otherwise

I’m bored of always wanting more

But not much else happens around here

Chasing paper to afford the opportunity

To take aesthetic photos in front of waterfalls

Three cheers for youth, ownership, and off-key symphonies

 

Tired of the small talk traced back to small minds

Rumors preferred over truth

Since you don’t have to hide what’s out in the open

We got everything we wanted and it wasn’t even worth it!

Look at how happy we are!

 

Walk of fame or walk of shame?

It doesn’t matter what you choose

Everything comes with a price anyway

If parties are fun, why is it so easy

To feel like you’re having fun wrong?

That’s no fun

Buzzkill or be killed

 

Grinding until we’re in the ground

Sometimes, sooner than later

What is it all for?

What does it all mean?

Deeply fearful of misplacing the last bit of innocence in me