Regifted

I’m used to telling you what you want to hear

But there’s always more I wish I could say

This isn’t the way I want my life to stay

Feeling buried alive by the weight of words unsaid

 

You’ve been hiding my gifts

But I’m about to open them

I rarely put myself first

Because I was made to feel like

That’s a foreign concept

Your yes girl is all grown up

 

You tried to convey the message

That being in your presence

Made me lucky

I’m about to limit and close off my inner circle

 

My holidays aren’t happy unless I am

This is the conflict resolution

That the story of my life has been building up to

They Say If You Dream a Thing More Than Once, It’s Sure to Come True

Fabricated nonfiction- yikes

Fiction based on reality- yikes, but meaningful

Pay attention

Everybody’s got a story to tell

 

My vision may not be 20/20

But I’m not blind to what goes on around me

If you could feel

Everything that I feel

On any given day or night,

Would you want to live or die?

 

Running in imperfect circles

Words in the form of jagged lines

Sometimes, I start writing something

Just to see what happens

Provoking a concept

Provoking myself

Provoking my will to live

Several pages later

Better late than never

 

The more exhausted I get with life,

The less frequently I wear a bra

And what about it?

My golden body, my golden rules

 

Making a mental getaway

Do not disturb

You’ll remember my name

Why wait until my funeral to read this?

On a “I don’t care what you think of me” wave

Depending on the context of the situation of course

Living in an age

Where clowns lead parades

 

But enough about me

How are you?

Are you making the time and space

To be both selfless and selfish too?

 

Moments of Weakness

Strength in numbers until the numbers are overwhelming

You could be drenched in sweat

And I’d still run into your arms

I seldom follow my own advice

And have to keep re-learning lessons

Sometimes I feel like pulling my hair out

And sometimes I feel like growing it out

Longing for shelter until it buries me

 

Too hot

Too cold

Deep in the goal of escaping anyone and anything narrow

It’s like the only time I truly embrace fear

Is when I embrace happiness

That “letting go” that everyone speaks of

I needed to take a break

To take a break from breaking

 

I don’t feel accomplished

But I do feel somewhat alive

That’s a head start in my tired, ocean eyes

Pull me out of my own head

I’d prefer to drown in anything else right now

Even if it’s you and you can’t stay

 

I’ve got everybody fooled

Until I can’t take it anymore

That’s what inner strength is for

Stretching the truth until you understand the whole truth

 

I recognize my reflection

The smile pushes through the desert

I’m still falling

My feet just want to land, but there’s no solid ground

On Our Side

Making mixtapes

Making moves

Not dead yet

Sign the signal and make it official

 

Making mistakes

And leaning toward the learning

Making more mistakes

Living dead under the moonlight

Party on the go

Underrated and underestimated

No lies detected until there’s pain to hide

But the river of love runs deep

 

A little bit underground

A little bit up in the air

Beautiful disasters for the win

Found a lost family here

 

We belong to the good in the world

And answer to nobody but the truth

 

Call us the broken

Call us heroes

It’s all in the identity

It’s all in the authenticity

Light in the shadows

 

Keeping it simple

Keeping it real

No sleep once you’ve been awakened

Revolution takes its time in pieces

Breathe

Junkyard of smashed alarm clocks

Intelligence is nothing without discipline

Catch my breath and let go

 

I can handle rejection

I’m used to it

That sounds like a joke, but it’s sad

Because it’s true

You can’t tell me not to feel hurt

When I am hurt

Single lovers learn to embrace solitude

 

Fuck it, I’ll get candid

I’ve been single since the day I was born

That sounds like a joke, but it’s the truth

Discovered how to change my thinking from

“I wasn’t enough for them”

To “they weren’t enough for me”

You learn to appreciate your own company

found my bed of roses

And have taken care of myself many times

 

Comparison is truly the thief of joy

Especially when you begin to understand

That everyone has their own path

Loneliness is inevitable

But you’re never truly alone

There will always be someone who understands

Who will listen

Who won’t leave you abandoned

 

Piles of books, filled journals, and miscellaneous papers

Any relationship is nothing without communication

Catch my breath and let go

 

Truth hurts, but I’ll always prefer it

Lying to me is one of the worst things you can do to me

Because my intuition is six steps ahead

The bodyguard for my loving heart

And I don’t take inauthenticity lightly

Do you really want to lose the trust

Of the one who would give you everything?

I’ll see you for who you truly are

I’ll hear everything you think, but don’t say

I’ll prioritize your actions over your cheap words

And I’ll write about it all

With beauty and scary accuracy

 

Don’t tell me that I’ll find someone someday

I’ve heard it too many times to count

You’re not making me feel any better

I know I will

Don’t tell me I need to make myself less

In order to obtain something more

Sounds like you’ve spent your whole life lying to yourself

While I’ve spent mine finding and loving myself

 

Keep intentions clear

Get sad, angry, and let it all out

Breathe again

 

Hell hath no fury like a woman

Who has the power to freeze it over

Take the “F” Out of “Life”

You need a job?

Well, experience is required for experience

You need free time?

Too bad because “time is money”

Control is out of control

I’m tired of repetitive hypocrisy

I’m tired of being tired

Expectations are boring

Common sense is a rarity

Respect is expensive

 

I’m no angel, but I’m definitely not evil

I know that much for sure

I’m not crazy about my complicated existence

But I would go crazy if it were always simple

 

If you need me, you don’t act like it

But honestly, I’m better off healthy

Keeping my distance from those who love with pernicious undertones

Better late than never

I procrastinate until I have no choice

But to overwork myself or fail

Both effects are inevitable

I’m okay now

But everyone wants to get higher

The ultimate fantasy is made up of millions

Of smaller fantasies, larger numbers, and multiple steps

 

Drowning out the negative voices

Inside and outside of my head

And amplifying the uplifting ones

A daily struggle

Heart’s homeostasis

Going through metamorphosis

What’s real that isn’t ruled by fear?

Who really wants to live a li[f]e?

Dancing With Moonshine

Because I write with so much feeling,

I can only write when I am feeling

Just taking a break hits me with withdrawal

Like I’m somebody that doesn’t even exist

This is my passion

This is my thing

Structured society may have career questions

But quitting is out of the question

 

I live for oxymorons and irony

There’s never just one right or wrong answer

What’s obvious

And what isn’t shown, but is true

 

If you catch me shivering,

Then I gave myself chills

My blood ran until it got cold

Or both

Walking in summer’s winter wonderland

Hand in hand with an invisible…

Good morning!

 

Carnival of the downward spiral

The occasional fairy light

The consequences are unlimited

Falling down voids that seem endless

They said that there will be blood

They said that there will be war

But not if a different voice is listened to

A different path taken

 

It’s raining bullets and beating hearts

Sedate my toxic imaginary friend

I could be a weapon of mass destruction

Yet, here stands the raw, unfiltered me

A vessel of mass compassion

 

I freestyle my way

Through the mazes of authority

That disguises itself as strong leadership

Suddenly noticing that I can’t stop smiling

Because I wrote a wonderful life