Chemical Hearts React

There’s a hole in your heart

And I want to be the one to fill it

And you can fill me when you feel me

The darkest daylight

The strongest weakness

Hold me when I’m shaking

Catch me when I’m falling

Unless we’re falling together

Just let go of everything

Except one another

Never say never

And/or now or never

Show me who you really are

I want to love it all

Secret admirers

And other secrets we keep

In a world of our own

To take on the real world

Butterflies emerging from fireworks

Sparks bursting into the flame

For me

For you

Angels rising from the ashes

Maybe children and marriage

This is a love poem

These feelings wrapped up inside me

With a pretty lacy bow

Like an unsent valentine

xoxo, your girl

Passive Aggressive Passion

Cities and suburbs

I’ve been lonely and happy alone everywhere

If I fall out of the sky,

Then allow me to fall

I am not food for your hero complex

I learn to fly every time I save myself

Reflective revealing moments

In love with love

And the idea of love

Which makes me look good, bad, smart, and stupid

Sometimes, it’s a gut feeling

Sometimes, it’s just my stomach

Smile in fractions when I don’t feel whole

America’s sweetheart

And the “good girl gone bad” archetype

Made up of depression naps

And anxiety attacks

Big on communication

Yet, I overthink every little thing

A saint who sins

I am and always have been alive

Out of pure love

And spite

I don’t have to be

Anyone’s definition of “perfect”

To be worth it

Sacrificial Superficiality

I’ve done more dreaming awake

Than dreaming while sleeping

You are ethereally handsome

And it distracts from your true nature

It’s hard to believe

That someone so kind and caring

Could be so detached

Yet, here you are

I sang along to your songs

Maybe it’s time for a road trip

Where my heart will relocate

You’re not one in a million

You almost fell out of a window

And made a joke out of it

You charm the pants and skirts

Off of everyone you come into contact with

You look down on me like I’m a pawn

But truth is,

You were never that good at chess

And I have quite a few hidden talents

You say you’re worried

But your actions don’t show it

I must be crazy

For thinking that I could save you

You are a walking magazine cover

Making sure to meet expectations

Whenever the cameras are on

How could I be so naive?

You’re not that different from the others

This is a pain that I know I can heal from

But a bit of my heart will always hurt

You put up a front

That you’re all about love

So, why do you fake it?

You can’t create

What was never meant to exist

We both know better

You need to do better

I deserve better

Oh god

It’s all so wrong

That it’s right

From under the ice,

The sun wasn’t so golden after all

Healthy Obsession

Pacing back and forth

Lost in deep thought

Take a breath

Center myself

I won’t give up

No matter what

A cliché a day

Occasionally keeps negativity away

Tunnel vision on a healthy obsession

I want to take the hard parts of mental health

And give them hell

Trick my brain

Into refusing to fall for tricks

Each year is just another year

But I’m still obsessed with making each one

A fresh start

I apologize if I get intense

I’m just intent on my intentions

In touch with my manifestations

I want to get better and be better

In fact, it’s not purely a want

But a need

If I’m still alive,

Then improvement is the mission

About Me

It seems to rain

Every time I feel like going outside

Online and offline

Like a child playing with a light switch

Looking for how to best achieve my purpose

Losing my head

Gazing out the window

Even when it’s dark

And there’s nothing much to see

If only it was socially acceptable

For humans to go into hibernation

Just imagine

Always feeling well-rested

And waking up feeling like a brand new person

I’m the mysterious type

Who also overshares

What have you heard about me?

Sometimes it’s true

And sometimes not

Even if you heard it from me

That self love thing?

It’s a lot to take in

And I am a vacuum

Transparent Soulmate

There comes a time in one’s life

Where love is questioned

Pros and cons weighed

Like a perfectly imbalanced scale

On each half of the heart

Nervously excited

Because I’ve changed and made up my mind

Because it’s you

It’s always been you

And I have faith that someday it will be

Could you see me in a crowd?

All I see is you

Could you need me like the air  you breathe?

It’s as if you’re in every breath I take

With me, you would never feel unloved

I’ve fallen for you and I can’t get up

My soul is submerged in your colors

Synesthesia of love in its truest form

All I need is the otherworldly sound

Of your voice in my ear

The euphoria of being in your arms

Your words, thoughts, dreams, and emotions

Burning in my bloodstream

I want you in every way

And I have no shame in admitting it

As a lover and a friend

I desire it all

People say that good things come to those who wait

Based on how long I’ve waited,

You must be something great

Over It All

Waiting for what you need

Tends to carry more weight

Than waiting for what you want

Society tends to make what you’re bad at

Carry more weight

Than what you’re good at

What are we?

Sick and tired of it!

Just because we’re living life

Doesn’t mean it’s all we ever have to talk about

Alright

Okay

That’s all she wrote

Age creeps up on you

Time can suck

Yes, I’m going to write whatever I want

However I want

What are you going to do?

Grade me?

That no longer phases me

I am nobody’s fool

I am nobody’s robot

Sometimes foolish, but never a robot

I’m early when I’m late

And late when I’m early

I’m not happy here

So, my mind is checking out

And I’m going to leave

You had your chance

To “show me a good time”

And failed miserably

Don’t blame me

You are in no position

To be trying to give ultimatums

Miss me with that

Connections

A heartbeat brings dead skin back to life

Color streaming through veins again

A rush of warmth

Like the sun is shining

While it’s snowing

Friends, enemies, lovers, strangers

All the same in conflicting ways

Beautiful compositions created

From past decomposition

Like a child building a tower

To knock it down

Then build the blocks back up again

Car crashes and rainbow connections

Life before and after love

Papier-mâché plans and iron dreams

Bitter truths and sweet lies

Why wake up when you can go back to bed?

Show me love

Show me the door

Show me the way

Show me the world

Show yourself

I’m not afraid anymore

You make me weak and strong

Laws of Nature

I walk through the dark

Looking for answers

It’s raining

It’s a fact

That seeing pictures of rainbows

Doesn’t compare to witnessing one in real life

I both know and don’t know myself

When alone, I play follow the leader

So, I follow me

And see where that takes me

My mind puts me through heaven and hell

Just vibing and bleeding

You can teach me how to get better

You can help me get better

But I won’t get better

Until I get better